NaBloPoMo 5: Monday April 3rd 1995

Boy- it's been a month!
Here are some things which have happened.

I was sick for a week. What a shocker of a cold that was. Spent three days in bed and dragged myself out on Thursday to see 'Hot Shoe Shuffle' in Chichester which was WONDERFUL!!

My boxes arrived from Aus and Dad and I took 3 and a quarter hours to get to the place in London where they were stored. One hour was to get to Marylebone Rd and the rest was getting through London with traffic jams, road works and wrong turns. We made the freight yards with minutes to spare before they closed!!! Whew.

Other developments this month. My brother-in-law's Dad died which was very sad. Poor Middle Sis is really sitting back and reassessing life. (Eds note:She had also been involved in witnessing a road accident in January in which a woman was killed) She had a week in Cyprus and Dad has just gone to Spain.

I have been embroidering furiously. I now have to make the frill for the moses basket and I still have a maternity top on the go which I won't need if I don't get on with it!!! Yesterday, Mam and I started packing my hospital case. (Picture: Me asleep with the cat on my 'embroidery chair'. The unfinished piece is over the back of the chair.)

I keep getting very weepy. This morning I woke up and had a cry over everything in my life I had messed up.....like a waitressing job way back when. Can you believe it? I worry that I will pass on all my hang ups to my child. I am so afraid of loss at present. I'm afraid of losing my parents. I'm afraid of losing this baby after she's born. I'm afraid of losing all my friends if I don't go back to Australia but then I'm afraid of losing my family if I do.......

I am so tired at the moment.

Perhaps this is pre-natal depression?

Status report: Belly big. Muscles separated between navel and ribcage. Head descending (according to Anne, my midwife) Baby usually fairly active, all visible from the exterior. Still only one varicose vein and no other nasty varicosities thank goodness. Feet slightly swollen for the first time this weekend. Must get back to the exercises. Missed aquanatal and swimming last week because we were at 'The Marriage of Figaro' and 'Oliver' on Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was lovely being in London. I felt I was back in the real world.

'Oliver!': spectacular sets; conductor on 'speed'. I think they had to get the kids offstage before 10pm. Equity rules perhaps? Anyway Mum and I came out exhausted! :-)

'Marriage of Figaro': Opera is too long for me. Enjoyed the first half very much but in the second half the baby was doing gymnastics!!! Champagne at half time. Lovely!

Have also been attending Active birth classes. Cried like a baby the first time. Mum came to the partner's session the second time and I was fine the third time. Saw 2 x 5 day old babies from girls who had been in the first class. Lovely! Am looking forward to meeting my daughter.
(Making a blanket to be embroidered)