The Hollow Sound of Bankers' Laughter

Have you ever tried to redeem points on a credit card loyalty scheme? I have a theory about this. I suspect there are 4 dusty reward items, nailed to the floor in some window display. They are photographed, occasionally updated and never leave the building. There are no other items waiting for redemption! There is no happy rack of sparkling cordless phones; no cupboards full of steak knives and plasma TVs, NO! the whole thing is an elaborate front to encourage you to keep using your credit card to pay for everything!!!!!!

I know this because in the last two years we have tried unsuccessfully to redeem points, on a relatively low point item I might add, via a website. In the first instance we couldn't even log into the blasted thing. Then, after Himself rang and shouted obscenities at the recorded prompts, he spoke to an operator who assured him the site was about to be updated and gave us a temporary password. We duly logged in and went to 'look' at the items available for redemption (as per the mailed out catalogue). We selected the one we wanted and clicked. Nothing. And again. Nothing.
Another phone call assured us that it was a glitch that was being sorted. We didn't bother for a while.

Tonight we tried again. The website is brand new and shiny! I had to create a totally new username etc but we got in and navigated to the 'redeem points' page. There were three overpriced items on the homepage, all with clickable links. That was all there was; no button directing you to the catalogue; no neatly arranged photos of the other items in question. But wait! On the side bar there is an animated marquee with alternating pics of all other redeemable items. There is a button exhorting you to 'redeem now'.

Firstly you wonder if you have to wait til your desired item flashes up before you click 'redeem now'. Wait, wait, wait....there it is! Click now! Go on, go on.......CLICK!!!!!!!!!!!
Drat. Missed it.
Then you figure it can't be that hard and just click on any picture. And click. And CLICK. The download bar lights up, the page reads 'done'. It is unchanged.

Someone, somewhere in their little programmers' hole is having a HUGE laugh!!!!!!!!!!!

Only A Hippopotamus Will Do

Christmas.

Along with all the good cheer, peace on earth and general cosiness, there is a nasty, prickly side to this, arguably our favourite, western holiday.

The expectations built up by Christmas consumerism are immense and destructive. For the last three years I have battled with Himself, carving a trail of misery through our lives with his anger at the guilt and inadequacy spawned by his inability to buy everything he perceives is expected of him. It is a rod made for his own back but fueled by the behaviour of his father decades ago, who filled the parenting hole left by his frequent business absences with large gifts of cash every Christmas. And I mean large.

For three years now I have tried to reason with him on the subject of moderation at Christmas; living within our means; the true meaning of the season and the general ill advisedness of always getting the kids exactly what they want ( the possibility of this resulting in spoiled, ungrateful children was not a link he had made himself). I have described to him some of my most memorable Christmases where, for one reason or another, there was not as much to go around as usual. I described the joy of making things, of making do, to no avail.

"I understand everything you are saying logically," he explained,"but it doesn't change how I feel. I feel that I am unable to provide for my family. I feel like a failure."

I have tried to point out the values lessons which are imparted at Christmas: the joy of giving as well as receiving; value for money; the messages we send in the types of presents we give: personal, educational, things that stimulate family interaction. I have tried to explain to him that sometimes it isn't the cost of the present which is key but rather knowing what it is that your kids want, demonstrating an understanding of their interests and showing that you have listened (this is especially true in the case of older kids).

I have discussed the issue of quality replacing quantity as children get older.

But I am a hypocrite. When I looked at this photo I felt we hadn't done enough.



This Christmas, I watched my 14 year old search in vain for something she had specifically requested which wasn't there.

I didn't 'approve' of it. She didn't cry, she is too old for that, but the disappointment was palpable. Most of the things she received she already knew about

and the 'surprises' were things I valued, not things she values.

Her step brother received just about everything he had put on his list and if he didn't get it from dad then he got it from mum.


But she didn't say a thing and when I hugged her and asked if she was ok she just smiled and said 'of course'. I guess I've taught her to be gracious? Why then did I still feel so bad that I went on ebay and found the rotten 'Gossip Girl' Season 1 dvd set and won it at auction for $19.50?????? She will get it late but she will get it. At least I didn't pay $69.00 for the rubbishy thing!

We are imperfect but we are together.


And these pictures were taken before she knew I'd caved in!

Retail Cheer

How about this?

Himself goes to buy a basketball at a well known sports retail store. He carefully selects a mid range ball suitable to our needs and reasonably priced at $36.99. At the checkout the cashier announces that the ball is $90.00!
"There seems to be a mistake," says Himself, "this ball was marked at $36.99."
"Oh, no," says an arrogant young man behind the counter, "this is a $90.00 ball."

Himself took the young man to the shelf and pointed out the 4 identical balls still in the rack, fronted by a card that read G534 $36.99 (or some such number.. I don't know...it's a basketball!). He pointed out the matchnig serial number on the balls.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid this is a $90.00 ball."

"Look," says my incredibly patient husband (hahahahahahahahahha), "these balls are clearly marked at this price, if you have made a mistake, that's really your problem. It says $36.99 and that's what I'm going to pay for it!"

At this point the young man snatched, you read me right, snatched the ball out of Himself's hands and announced,
"Oh no you're not!"

Himself told him in typically colourful language where he could put his ball and what he could go and do with himself in the meantime and left.

He got a perfectly good ball from K Mart for $20.00. And everyone smiled at him!

Now, I like to ensure that youngsters are aware and educated in the art of life. I think someone needs to have a word with this young man, for his own edification of course. Therefore I went to the internet to try and find a way to send a message to the company. On the webpage I tried 'customer service' and went down several links before reaching a dead end. Then I tried' contact us', which only gave me the option 'orders@....', in frustration I typed 'complaints' into the site's search box.

This is the message I received:

Unfortunately an error has occured on the site. The Rebel Sport technical team are aware of this and are working to fix the problem. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.

Do you think there is a programmer somewhere having a bit of a laugh???????

A Pet Theory

OK so everyone who knows me knows I am obsessive about Asperger's Syndrome.

There seem to be more and more cases being diagnosed yearly with current research suggesting between 1 in 300 and 1 in 100 people are affected worldwide. The reasons for this increase have been put down to better diagnositic tools and more public awareness of the condition but I have another theory.

I blame Bill Gates and George Lucas.

Ah haaah! I hear you say. Of course! Bill and George. What the h*** is she talking about????

Well it goes like this:

Previously there were lots of people out there with Aspergers (mostly men) who went about their quirky lives working in industries such as engineering and law or closeted away in academic facilities doing intense, painstaking research. Their lack of interest or ability to socialise meant many went unmarried and did not reproduce. Are you hearing where I'm going now?

Bill Gates, a man frequently described as having many of the characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome made computers cool. He brought them into the mainstream and created an industry for a whole raft of similarly obsessive and socially dysfunctional people who were now looked at with respect and admiration (unlike lawyers and engineers ;-) by huge swathes of the population including women.

George Lucas when he developed Industrial Light and Magic, gave a whole generation of geeks the opportunity to make big money and work in a celebrity industry which brought them into contact with more women than they could ever have done in industries such as accounting or at their local model engineers association swap meet.

Thus, these former social outcasts became cool, met women, married and reproduced and now we have an epidemic of Asperger's diagnoses in our schools.

QED.

Something For the Heathen Masses

The Tasmanian courts have upheld an appeal by the Atheists' Association to advertise on buses. Their slogan is "Atheism-Celebrate Reason". It was going to be 'Celebrate Reason and Sleep In On Sundays' but they decided that didn't address all those other unreasonable faith brands :-D

Now I know that some of you out there will be outraged by this and others (Bestie and headbang I'm looking at you...) will be smugly delighted but I just think it's hilarious!

Firstly it's in Tasmania the home of small populations and inbreeding so a dubious seat of 'reason' at the best of times; but also because I see opportunities for a whole lot of come back slogans.

Come on you Theists out there. What can you come back with? I imagine the Pentecostals will quickly have bumper stickers saying:

"Jesus: Give yourself a Reason."

But what about our more sedate Anglican bothers and sisters? the archaic Hebrews? the faithful Muslims? the multiple Hindus and the gentle Buddhists?

Perhaps the ancestor worshiping religions might hit the billboard trail with:

"Because I'm Your Father! I Don't NEED A Reason"

Any of the 'faith full' out there got something neat to say?

In Which I Am Forced To Confront My Cynicism

Following from my despair at the lack of initiative of the younger generation and my affront at the dumbing down of the curriculum, I received some interesting responses to my horror at the idea of trivial internet based assessment tasks for Shakespeare.

Jill (a pre school teacher) from Twipply Skwood said this:

Actually I'll bet the Romeo and Juliet myspace pages could produce some interesting stuff. You know, they'd have to do the blog entries and bios and interests and all that. They could think up what to substitute for certain categories - like there wouldn't have been any movies for them to have for favorite movies, so what would they put in that area? They would have to make a page for the parents so R&J would have "friends". It might be a kind of neat project - like maybe whoever was done with their regular work ahead of time could do it for extra credit or something. :-) :-) :-)

A Free Man (a University lecturer) said this:
I know you disagree, but I think that the latter idea is a really good one. You have to get kids interested, engaged and if you use their choice of media to do so, they'll be more interested. Do you remember the Leonardo DiCaprio/Clair Danes Romeo & Juliet? Got a whole generation interested in Shakespeare, but it certainly didn't deviate that much from the intent of the author. You could do the same thing with modern social media. Although MySpace is a bit dated, Facebook would be the way to go. The more I think of it, the better idea I think it is. The kids would have to read the play in order to do a decent job. They may not read it in a traditional classroom setting.

And Just Jessie (a brilliant home school-er with two super intelligent, creative boys) said this:
Okay, I think they're on the right track, they just need more depth. The avatar thing could be cool if they flesh it out more. Make them draw their own and put them in period clothing and in a scene from the play. You know, sort of make them think it through. Could be a good thing.

Due to the fact that they are all qualified professionals (although I think they are all also Gen-Xers) I considered their ideas very carefully.

Yes, they have merit.

I mean, how different is an avatar from the 'Wanted' posters we did for characters in novels back in primary school? The implications of transferring life in Elizabethan England (or Verona in this case) to MySpace or Facebook is loaded with opportunities for humour, originality and creativity.
With a bit of research.

And this is where I come up against it.

A Freeman: You said that setting this project would encourage them to read the play in order to do a decent job. You assume that they even CARE about doing a decent job! And let me tell you, nothing will make them read that play if they do not want to. Hell, even when you read it to them it does not dent their e-clad psyches. (Thank heavens for Baz Luhrman I say.)

Jill: You suggested setting it as an extension project or for extra credit. Unfortunately we have enough trouble getting them to hand up even the most basic of projects let alone doing something for extra credit.
The Y Generation are all about 'that'll do' , 'good enough' and 'maximum result for minimum effort'.

Jessie: 'Sort of make them think it through'? You have hit the nail on the head. They have no desire to think anything through and the nature of this assignment encourages this.

Look, as an older person with life experience; a familiarity with Shakespeare; a love of spoof and plenty of exposure to irony and satire in a range of genres; I can think of so many things to bring to this project. Unfortunately the pupils we teach have very few of these attributes.

I think it would be an excellent extension project for an advanced group; a group with skills. My concern is that as English teachers we should be developing skills and skills will not develop spontaneously and without practice.

The problem with giving this type of task to the mainstream of students is that it encourages superficiality. Myspace does not have a spellchecker or a requirement for anything written there to make ANY sense at all. I know. I have seen some of the pages belonging to my daughter's friends. Hell. I have seen my daughter's page! Avatars, like wanted posters, are a primary school activity. They require a student to understand only the most basic qualities of a character and do not encourage exploration of motivation or personality traits which drive a character to make certain choices.

I know technology and the use of familiar, popular cultural tools can motivate kids but we risk sublimating the wealth of history and literature available to our species by moving down the road of 'least resistance'. Use technology where you can to get your message across but do not allow it to replace the original form of the message altogether. Use technology as a vehicle for expression but not as a way to avoid having anything to express.

If you want to add a 'pop' flair, ask them to construct a series of email exchanges between the lovers in the language of the day! At least then they will need to familiarise themselves with the text, construct a narrative of sorts and formulate grammatically correct sentences. Without txtspk.

I would like to set a task for student teachers. Analyse the 'Create a Myspace Page' task and list the elements of the english curriculum that it either teaches or assesses. What steps would pupils need to take to complete the task adequately? eg research skills, reading the play, analysing, summarising. Do they have the skills to take these steps? If not, how would you structure the task to ensure that they were supported in developing these skills?

On a less cynical note, for pupils with learning difficulties, a task like this could remove the fear of the written word and provide a comfortable context in which to experiment with ideas.

Thanks for the thought provoking comments folks.

Sheepish Thanks

Many thanks to all of you who voted for my limerick. At last look we had it stitched up folks :-D

A Free Man was a bit put out by my methods but I have seen many people do this kind of thing before so it must be OK.

I will leave you to decide which Level of Kohlberg's Theories of Moral Development fits that reasoning :-)

In Which The Tables Are Turned

"How could you write that about your daughter?" enquired the Free Man at coffee yesterday, "BA, have you seen what your mother has written about you?"

She had.

"Mother," she sighed, exasperated,"You are such a hypocrite. ALL the things you did when you were young! Not to mention wasting your time blogging when you're meant to be working and then telling me off for not doing my homework!"

It's true. I cringed sheepishly accepting the full weight of her accusation squarely on both shoulders.

"Ah, but BA, being a hypocrite is part of being a parent! We know what it was like but time and experience have taught us to know better!" the Free Man came chivalrously to my rescue.

Yea BA, that's right! That's just what I meant to say; thank you A Free Man!

(So why am I sitting here in my free lesson blogging now?)

Hypocrite.

In Which I Once More Demonstrate My OCD Side

Perhaps I am panicking here but...I don't know....should I be worried about what they are teaching the Small Boy in English????????????

I mean, when I was a girl (and I know this equates with dinosaurs as far as the BA is concerned), one of the biggest lessons you got each year in English was the correct format for the writing of greetings in cards and, naturally, how to address an envelope.
Two years ago when my eldest stepson asked me to type up and print out a resume for him, I observed with horror as he addressed the envelope in the top left hand corner! I knew he hadn't been particularly successful in the school setting so I wrote that off, but I now find that the BA cannot address envelopes either! She at least chooses middle top for her starting point (I meant to keep one and show you that too but I just slapped the stamp over half the address and posted it. I figure the postcode should get it to the right place in the UK).

So perhaps I should have known better when the Small Boy had a birthday party to attend last weekend. I bought the card for him and presented it to him to 'sign' foolishly expecting that at nearly 10 this should not prove too much of an issue.

Hah.

The first problem was that he chose one of Dad's special 'roller ball' pens to write with: the ones that leave wet ink on the page just long enough for the left handed author to drag his hand over the freshly minted words. Seeing this he added a 'sorry' comment but, to his credit, he wasn't sure that this would suffice so he got another pen. He continued underneath, adding the little girl's name. Now in my day we were taught to put the name of the recipient at the top and our own name underneath the printed, commercial greeting however, I am willingly to accede this convention in the interests of individuality and creativity BUT- I am pretty sure it is still accepted practice to include one's own name on the card. No sign of that here.
(You thought I'd erased it for anonymity purposes didn't you? Hah! Actually I have insufficient skill or software for this exercise!)

I am also pretty sure that spelling your friend's name with a capital letter is still de rigueur (he altered this when I mentioned it) and I dunno, possibly knowing how to spell her name would also be helpful!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you with some of the names they come up with lately, maybe that is how she spells Isabel!

And then there's the textspeak. Have good 1. Happy B-day. I suppose I should think myself lucky he didn't write 'hav a gud 1' or 'hv a gr8 day m8'. Ugh, I find the whole 'writing things in Messengerese' offensive.

Anyway, after we had examined the results of his efforts we found another card to give her and he started again. He completed this one successfully and shot off up the hall to his next adventure as I called him back to write her name on the envelope. Clearly fed up with the whole thing and obviously wondering whether this party was worth all this angst and effort on his part, he proceeded to write her name. On the back of the envelope.

I suppose the $5.00 (AU) x2 I spent on the cards is a small price to pay for literacy. What do you think? Am I being too harsh?

Friday Night Frolics

You learn a whole lot at a Quiz Night you know? For instance, last night I learned that there are 3 movies which tie for the record of 11 Academy Awards apiece. Do you know what they are? Don't go googling now....just think about it and have a guess. Answers tomorrow.

Also, I learned that Santiago is the capital of Chile, Frodo Baggins was the son of Drogo Baggins (not Bilbo you sillies, that was his uncle), Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman starred together in 'Notorious' (not 'To Catch a Thief', that was Grace Kelly), there have been 16 Popes named Benedict (not 14...sorry Kindergarten Friend...I should have listened to the Catholic on the table), the Federal Minister for Health is Nicola Roxson, the largest country in the world with a single time zone is China and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has a child with Cystic Fibrosis.

I share all this with you in case you are similarly inclined to trivia and need to stock up.

I am pleased to report that our table came a very creditable 4th (out of 17?) by about 3 points.
(If only I'd listened to you Kindergarten Friend! Of COURSE you would know how many Benedicts there've been!!!)













"Now count with me people, there were ten by 1058
(but we don't mention him as he was an anti-pope)
and I am what number again?...."



We had a lovely lively table, made up of friends from current and past work as well as Kindergarten Friend and the Bestie's lovely Mum and Dad. Poor Bestie's Mum was under the weather in a big way, suffering from the same cold we have all had over the past three weeks (I blame the BA, she had it first). She was not, however, too ill to recognise the well toned torso with the blacked out face in the 'Who Am I' section of our Table Quiz Sheet. "Oh, that's Hugh," she chirruped,"I have a copy of that picture in my scrapbook." We were the only table to get that question right. I think we were also one of the only tables to get 'Frodo son of Drogo' too as Bestie's Dad reads the LOTR on an annual basis.

The Baby Angel was again roped into helping sell 'raffle tickets', this time in the form of playing cards. I watched ever so proudly as she stood up to the microphone on the stage and announced confidently,
"And the winning card is, the Ace of Hearts. The black Ace of Hearts."
Mother's heart flutters. Ohmigod. She means the Ace of Spades. Someone tell her it's the ace of Spades. Ohmigod how embarrassing, she should know the suits, we play cards for goodnesssakes.....

At this point there was a flurry of conversation and card shuffling but then my lovely, clever and perfectly in control of the situation daughter leaned towards the microphone and showed us the back of the playing card. It had a black pattern. Of course! there were two packs sold, one red and one black so like raffle tickets, you needed to know the colour of the card as well. Oh mother! Have more faith in your offspring.

Oh, and the other thing I was going to tell you about was the reaction we all had to the location for the night. St Privileged School* in Adelaide is a church based boys boarding school. Here is the Memorial Hall where the Quiz Night was held. The school is apparently the oldest in Adelaide and occupies 32 ha of prime, city centre real estate. It is so big that we got lost trying to find the Hall. It is so big there is a nearby suburb which is smaller. You can almost smell the money in the air. It is slightly obscene. Check out a website of a similar school if you would like to see how the other half live. If you are the other half, make a big donation to charity whydon'tcha....

But the thing which stood out for Kindergarten Friend and I was the lawn. Luxuriant, green, freshly mowed. And there's a drought on!!!

KF: (in faux upper class twit accent) Oh but we only use 'bore' water on our grounds.
Me: how appropriate.

And as KF says, bore water is a SHARED resource guys! It comes from the aquifer which should, strictly speaking be available to all! (Just weigh in here KF and explain that better please)

Nah, sorry. I am unimpressed. Schools like this make me vaguely uneasy. I know they produce many brilliant men; national athletes, Nobel Laureates and Rhodes Scholars but they also breed an air of 'elite-ism', of 'other-ness' which takes many young men down a slippery slope. Too many boys from schools such as this have been taught to 'take what they want'. Hell, these places defined 'The Entitlement Generation' before it became a widespread thing. Many of the things they 'took' were taken at the expense of others; jobs, bought for them by other 'old boys'; promotions and positions in the public eye; women.....whether the women wanted to be taken or not. And for those who could not succeed, who did not live up to the expectations set for them, there is shame, despair and the 'cover-up'.

I am assured by people who ought to know that it is changing; that moves are in place to build decent citizens shaped with a notion of service to their communities rather than 'little gods' who look to the community to provide what their wealth and status can purchase for them. I sincerely hope this is the case. If it is, it demonstrates the old Dr Suess 'Sneetches' principle beautifully. Just as the rest of the world was beginning to emulate their 'entitlement' mentality they cast if off in favour of self-less philanthropy. Damn. I want a star on my belly!!!

Anyway, that was our Friday night. How was yours?

image credits:
pope
oscar
school

Gut Feelings

Scene: At the local Vietnamese Restaurant.

Dad: So what do you think of this idea of Australia becoming a Republic?
Me: Fine. Bound to happen one day. Not a priority though. We manage quite well as it is.
Dad: OK, what about the idea of getting rid of the States?
Me: What? You can't do that!!!
Dad: Why not? This country is over governed. You have 21 million people and 7 legislative parliaments. What a waste of money!
Me: But you can't....get rid of the States....I mean. It just wouldn't be right!!!
Dad: Why not?
Me: because....um...we're all different. A single federal legislature could not effectively represent all it's constituents!!!!
Dad: Nonsense.
(dinner arrives at the table)

Waitress: steak and black bean, chicken and cashew, chili squid and sizzling crocodile.
Dad: So A, will you have some sizzling crocodile?
Me: NO! Thank you.
Dad: Why not?
Me: I don't know....it's just not right to eat something with teeth that big.
Dad: Sounds like the same argument you had for not getting rid of the States....

I LOVE the Holidays

It has taken me longer than I anticipated to recover from The Party! Here I am on Thursday afternoon finally getting down to some blogging. In the meanwhile I have been putting the house back together from photos (you know, like after the bombing post WWII), doing 'kid things' and spending time with my Mum and Dad who leave on the 26th :-( *sniff sniff*

But I just wanted to throw a few things into the wind before I work on The Party post.

Firstly: what is the world coming to? The Japanese have invented a toy which simulates the sound and feel of popping bubble wrap. They are apparently selling like.....I don't know.....bubble wrap???

Secondly: I believe all the work I did on the BA's music appreciation both when she was in utero and when we travelled long distances by car (We'll have one tape of yours then one of mine. Deal?) has paid off. Her new favourite artists are The White Stripes with most played song being Ball & a Biscuit (see my playlist). She has also informed me that she intends to play 'Fat Bottomed Girls' for me at my funeral. Thanks for that BA. (quite appropriate really)

Thirdly: Did I mention I LOVE holidays?????????

Inside A Saturday Morning Head

Yawn.
Roll over. One eye open, check clock....9.30am. Other eye open, looking out the window. Hmm (mild surprise). Grey skies and a mist over the Gorge. Washing might not dry today. That'd be a first in months.
Roll over and out to great sloshing sounds. Must replace this water bed mattress...it has really had it.
Cold feet. Mild surprise. That'd be a first in months too. Woolly socks on and stumble down the hall.
Ahhhhhhh. Hot coffee and Easter eggs for breakfast. Now, what do I have to get done today? Euch. That's right, marking and reports. And washing. Oh well, at least I get out of that rash promise to crew for Himself today in the State Heat. No2 Son is not working (again) and thankfully available to sail after all. Must remember not to discuss sailing whilst drinking and in company. The tendency to show off can have consequences which come back to bite you. Anyway...lalala...dodged that bullet. Just as well, it will be freezing out there today. *sigh* (snuggle into cashmere socks, wrap hands around hot mug and suck a last piece of melted chocolate out from between teeth.)
OK. So. Where to start? Hmmm. A blog post I think. About last night. Yes, last night was lovely. They'll get thrashed next week of course but nice to be in the finals. She was so excited. Glad she cleaned up her game. Only 2 gratuitous fouls and I personally thought the second one was hers. Heh heh heh. Very funny the way the other girl tried to get the ball off her and BA wrestled her to the ground. heh heh heh. She picked the wrong kid to try and intimidate there. heh heh heh. And I think she had control of the ball so it should have been her foul really. Oh well. Was very entertaining.
heh heh heh.....
Oh look. I think it's been raining again. Must wash these windows. (slurp coffee)
Nice coffee dad bought us last night. Nice to go out with mum and dad. Gonna miss them when they go back. Can't think about that now. Live in the moment. Have another egg. Eurgh. Too many eggs. Better have some carbohydrate or I'll be having a blood sugar attack. What's this? MMm. Apricot fruit bread. Toasted. Sweet.
So now, where was I? Last night. Yes. Lights were nice.
Oh, better replace light bulbs in here too.
I think that's what happened last night. I think a light bulb blew. Bet it was an expensive one. Well, that's what happens clever Belgians or French people or whatever you are. When you extend your season and leave it to the South Australians to run. Bloody hell. Blown lightbulbs. Someone's speeded up the fade in and outs too. I'm sure the change on each building was more subtle last week. And there were definitely dead bug shadows on the slides this week. Very unprofessional. Still, you get what you pay for. I bet the Dutch guys just handed over the slides to the Festival staff and said 'don't touch anything....just turn it on and off each night' and then the Aussies said 'don't you reckon it takes too long for each slide to change?' 'yea, let's speed up the cycle...and bugger off the fade in and out too...let's just make it like, you know, on and off.'
'Sweet. And what about this having to sit around checking everything is working?!' 'I know. What is that about? Well, the London Tavern is just across the road, can't hurt to pop in there for a couple of bevvies. If anything goes wrong someone will let us know.'
And that's how the light globe blew I reckon. Leaving it in the hands of amateurs. Still, the BA liked it. Even if she was freezing her kneecaps off in her netball skirt. Well, I told her to take something warm for after the game. Can I help it if she never does what she's told????
She was ok. Just snuggled up to Grandma. Course, waiting for the slide changes must have been chilly for her. Just as well the Aussie 'touring' crew speeded everything up.
Heh heh heh. Just thought of that strange lady last night. Near Bonython Hall. Telling me she was an Adelaide Uni alumni. Well, like, so am I. I think. Do you have to actually graduate to be an alumni? I was enrolled for two years. Surely I spent enough money in the bar to qualify? Anyway. I knew the letters on the ground were the Uni motto. Once I'd worked out what they said. It's tricky to read two foot high letters when there are people standing on them. And it's dark. Come to think of it, it wasn't dark enough. All the decorative street lights were still on. Made it hard to see the buildings lit up. Bloody Aussies again. Didn't follow the German instructions to the letter. Must google Northern Lights and find out where the company actually came from. Might have been France. No, pretty sure it was Holland. Anyway. Silly woman. Translating the Uni motto for me. I know what the motto is. Sub Cruce Lumen. And I'm pretty sure its not 'Learning Under the Stars.' What kind of motto would that be for a university eh?
(quieter and with contempt) 'learning under the stars', huh.
After all, sub is under and cruce is cross. Its obviously got something to do with the Southern Cross. Under the Southern Cross perhaps? Dad seemed to think that was right except he thought lumen was 'light' so perhaps it is 'under the cross of light'. Well, that's a pretty stupid motto for a university too. No wonder I didn't bother graduating. I might google it.
Ah. See, here we are, "The light (of learning) under the (Southern) Cross". Now that makes sense. Even though there aren't actually enough words in 'sub cruce lunem' to say all that. Bloody wanky academics.

Anyway, surely being the only first year on the Law School Pub Crawl makes you an alumni?

Hohum. Getting a headache from my glasses now. Must have lunch and get out those Year 8 tests. They at least may have passed. Can't say as much for the Year 9s.

Learning under the stars. Huh. Bloody silly alumni woman.

(Turns out Electric Canvas are from Sydney, not Europe but I still stand by my belief that they left it to the South Aussies for the two week extension ;-D)

Our Million Dollar View vs Bushfire Insurance Premiums

Natalie asked if the last photo of the gorge was the view from our house. No, but our view is pretty ok even so. This was taken on one of the hot nights last week. I was hoping that in some way a photo could reflect the relentless heat but as you can see, it doesn't.

This was taken looking North West up the coast. It's very hard to see against the glare of the western sky, but there is ocean there; well, gulf waters anyway, we're not on the southern ocean.


Here's a better one that shows the sea.
This picture in the previous post was taken across the road and over the lip of the Gorge. Our house is up the slope to the right of where I stood to take the photo.

The bushfire risk is real and we live in a constant state of 'denial'. It will never happen. We are in a shocking spot if a fire did start below us in the Gorge as fire travels fastest uphill.

We have a massive gum in front of the house and three on the boundary overhanging the roof. I don't know if you're aware of the flammable nature of eucalyptus (gum) trees? The oil in the leaves tends to explode in fireballs when a fire really gets going. Our gutters are constantly full of leaves and although Himself assures me that palms don't burn very well, the proximity of the large palm to the wall and roof at the front of the house, with all its dead foliage, does not auger well for our chances should worse come to worst.

We don't really keep a packed bag by the door (see the previous statement about denial) although we have a 'fire plan'. Mainly it consists of grabbing the document folder and driving like hell. They actually have fire people who can come out and advise you on your best options regarding a fire plan. Ours probably would be to stay and fight. The house is double brick and two story, built into the hillside so pretty solid, so we would probably need to stay and keep water on the roof and put out spot fires where they caught. Eucalypt fires often move fast which means if you can prevent the flames from catching in the first instance the fire will be over us and gone while we shelter in the lower story. Sounds so simple doesn't it?

But, fire risk aside, the weather is NUTS. Melody reports a record breaking WINTER day in Texas with warmest temps ever. Brittany and Blueberry were under 28" of snow in Ohio the other day and we are entering our 15th day of above 35c temps. With more forecast.

Our new Govt has ratified the Kyoto Protocol and we are being urged to participate in National 'Turn off the Lights Day' or whatever its called.......but our State Govt has decided to extend the amazing display of lights on North Terrace, in celebration of our Bi Annual Festival of Arts, for another 2 weeks.

Wonder what the carbon footprint of that decision looks like? A Yeti perhaps?

Tax Gripe

OK, now tell me how this is fair.

Businesses in Aus have to estimate their quarterly income and pay a type of provisional tax on the estimated income. Now, if you UNDER estimate by more than 10%...you are FINED!!!!!

So if you have been struggling and you suddenly have a bumper couple of months that you didn't expect....prepare to be FINED for working so hard or being so fortunate!!!!!

And here's another good one. If your bookmaker makes a mistake...ooooh, let's say a $7000.00 mistake.......you still have to pay the extra $7000.00, even when you don't HAVE it, because it's in the system now and anyway it's beholden upon you not to employ bookmakers who make mistakes!!!!!
>:-(
ggggggrrrrrrr

We are not having a good month.

How do other countries' small business tax laws stack up against Australia Fair's??????

Sorry

Today we were proud to be Australian. Ashamed and proud. Moved and proud. Today many of us understood, and were sorry.

I sat in a seminar room with about 50 kids and a number of staff as we watched the Prime Ministers speech live on a big screen. We heard a formal acknowledgment of the dreadful wrong which had been committed 'for the best'. Regardless of the pupils around me, tears rolled down my cheeks.

There was such a sense of occasion, of witnessing history. No more excuses. As much as at any time in history today, Australia entered another age. As the Wars taught us that we were a Nation unto ourselves, that we had quality and identity apart from our 'Mother Country', to day taught us that we were big enough to admit our wrongs; to identify with our beginnings, no matter how unpalatable and acknowledge their part in who we are today.

For those of you who do not know of our history, I give you this link to the report entitled 'Bringing Them Home: A Report into the Separation of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Children from their Families.'

This Policy is not ancient history. When I was at school there were aboriginal children in our class who were fostered by white families or living in sheltered accommodation with other 'orphaned' kids. We assumed they had been orphaned. It never occurred to us that there could be any other explanation. Apparently all aboriginal children had no parents.

With the long overdue ceremony today, the Govt has taken the first steps towards National healing. It is our job as Australians to embrace the errors of our past and learn from them. How this will look in terms of practical application has yet to be determined but let us pray that bridges are being built.

Whatever the criticisms of the ceremony, of the Leader of the Opposition's speech, of the opportunities for litigation and the resultant financial and legal deluge, today Australia did a good thing.

A Delayed Shopping Trip

"I've explained to the Small Boy how boys shop," my husband informed me just before Christmas. "We sit outside first and decide what we want, then we go in, go straight to the places we need and get what we want."

Uh-huh. There are a few gaping holes in this plan and I, being the loving wife I am was quick to point them out to Himself.


a) You will not necessarily get the best price by this method, nor even the best quality item.
b) What if the shop doesn't have it.
c) (and this is a bit of a girly one I have to admit) what if what you THINK you want isn't what
you want when you get in there and see the fabulous array of choices available???

Huh??
Huh???

But even this is insufficient explanation. You see darling husband, shopping is an interaction.

Today my mother and I went on the shopping trip I have been wanting to go on since she arrived. I had toyed briefly with the idea of doing this with her on my birthday until I realised I'd told her it was ok to go out to lunch with some of her old friends. Today we caught up on the missed experience.

There are many things which made this trip different from the frenzied buying sprees of the week before Christmas where she certainly accompanied me, and I her. For instance, there were just the two of us. We didn't really have a time limit. We had one or two small jobs to do but no grand mission.

Shopping is interaction dear husband. For example, today my mother and I learned what size we both now take. As a result of this we discussed exercise. We also discussed her experiences with a masseur and the benefits thereof!

We remembered that we had different tastes in things and that was ok! We agreed that the majority of current , disposable fashion looks like it is made out of dishcloths! We talked about her new cleaner (as a result of dishcloths) and I learned how she had found her and how Mum's back gives her so much trouble now that her cleaner comes mainly to push the vacuum cleaner which is too heavy for Mum.

During lunch we laughed over the poor quality of the 'wrap' she ordered and discussed our relative weight gains and need for healthy eating. As a result of that we started to talk about Himself's weight and health. As a result of that we started to talk about wills, estates and how our respective children would fare 'when the time comes'. What arrangements had we both made? What is the best way to make them? Who will be OK? Who will struggle? What would happen if Baby Angel was left on her own.....all tricky questions, essential for discussion and all difficult to 'bring up' artificially. They just come up naturally over lunch in the Mall.

In watching the interactions of parents and children we compared notes on parenting. She told me where she thought she went wrong. I told her how wonderful the years were I spent with her when I was a new mother. From there we discussed friends and their children and how they were all doing.

We went searching for a pair of earrings for me and got earrings and a necklace for her. We switched the subject of the search to a new silver cross for me and touched on matters of theology and faith as a result.

I drove her home although she insisted she could catch a bus (41C.....I think NOT) thus reinforcing her worth to me. I would not let her pay for petrol, establishing again my independence, adult status and desire to bless her by simply taking her home. We discussed the statement 'allow me to bless you' afterwards. More faith and theology.

We both agreed we had had a wonderful expedition. We had found out more about each other. We had underlined and reinforced important aspects of our relationship and got a couple of nice purchases as a a reminder of our trip.

Are there men who see shopping in this light? Is it a gender thing or a personality thing? Are we foolish in suggesting our men are missing out on something when they do not embrace the 'shopping trip'? Are there other ways men do this or is it simply that my beloved is one of a group who do not desire the underlining, reinforcing and even defining of relationships?

*sigh* I would appreciate any enlightenment you blokes can extend.
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NB: Picture above shows Mum and I on Christmas Day (just before I collapsed into bed AGAIN) with her new shears.

"How the &$#@ am I supposed to get THESE in a suitcase to go home????"
(I patiently showed her the removable handles. Just don't put em in your hand luggage Ma)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sports Update: Bad day on the waves but it was a strategic move. This will improve their handicap! Also a delightful friend (who is winning) will give them some rigging tips tomorrow!!

Someone Please Explain

In Flaming Sword mode I snarled at a child's T shirt today as I shopped.

I see
I cry
I get

My normally easily tickled sense of humour failed me here.
Help me out. Is this in ANY way funny???????????

Of Waterbombs and Detentions

Thursday afternoon was the Yr 9 'Year Level Outing', organised by their young and enthusiastic Year Level Co-ordinator. When he announced it at Assembly I felt he was being generous and perhaps a little foolish. They are a particularly unpleasant group, being Yr 9 and all, and they need very little excuse to run riot. When, however, he announced that there would be water bombs involved, I felt he had lost his tiny little mind. When I discovered that I was rostered to ATTEND this act of complete lunacy I considered some self inflicted wounds.

The plan was to walk the 100+ pupils down to the nearest park where a series of games would be laid out. At each 'station', a large wheelie bin, containing water bombs stood next to a variety of cone markers, upended tables, flags in bins and long benches. There were 6 different activities ranging through 'Capture The Flag' and 'Saving Private Ryan' to 'Barricades' and 'Obstacles'. The premise for all of them was simple. Complete the task without getting wet.

With military precision the enthusiastic Year Level Co-ordinator had calculated the exact number of waterbombs required for each game, two per team member, and bagged them up in black garbage bags inside the large wheelie bins. Each teacher had a detailed plan explaining the nature/rules of the games, the order of rotation round the stations and lists of the 10 kids on their team etc. There was no reason for it not to go like clockwork.

Except that there was Year 9 involved.

I cannot do justice in diary form to the level of chaos that followed. To be fair, 70% of the pupils entered into the spirit of the event with a sense of fair play and an intuitive knowledge of the boundaries, the other 30% however took testosterone, teenage egocentricity and the fact that they have no boundaries, right to the edge of health, safety and vandalism.

Thing is, I knew it was going to happen! I mean I know I am now officially one of the 'oldies' in the staffroom (funny...I was one of the 'young ones' for such a long time) and we as a group had discussed the foolishness and inappropriateness of the venture for some days beforehand. I know I am no longer as physically able to engage in the 'hijinks' of end of term, much as I might like to, for one thing the kids would think I was ridiculous! It is one thing for a young (in his twenties), fit, athletic sports teacher to belt around all over the shop pelting water bombs at people, it is quite another matter when the middle-aged wrinkly lady with glasses tries it. BUT surely the younger staff members could SEE where this was going??

Apparently not. I was assured that it was all 'good fun'. I announced myself 'party pooper' and 'old fogey' before anyone else could do it and acknowledged that this type of student/teacher bonding was probably out of my skill set now. I gritted my teeth and made a joke out of the fact that this was going to be a torturous afternoon for me. The young staff went smiling, off over the horizon.

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To be continued...

image credit: waterbombs: wikipedia

Future Flaming Sword!

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/11/23/1195753310035.html

What an amazing young man this is! A name to remember for the future. He will not fall into the trap of the parents he describes at Knox Grammar School in Sydney. Once more I say unto you.........let your kids fail! Pick them up and comfort them, give them skills and strategies for next time BUT do NOT do it for them. All you do is convince them of their own inability.