Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.
Showing posts with label Baby Angel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Angel. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Poem For My Kid: Lemon Butter


My mother made lemon butter.
Yellow, creamy, sweet.

My mother made lemon butter.
Golden, creamy, sharp

It sighed into jars, retrieved from the cupboard
It heaped into jars, recycled and quirky

My mother made lemon butter

It exploded on my tongue
Followed,  buttery sunshine
It filled my spoon
Like liquid, honeyed love

My mother made lemon butter

Yellow as my hair
Sweet as my curls
Sharp as my will

I consume it all.

When you taste it, daughter
Will you think of me?


Sunday, 13 October 2013

Panic In Sword Town

Now that the Baby Angel's absence is, kind of, the norm and my maudlin maternal moments are minimising (did you see what I did there...with the alliteration??...oh never mind), I thought I would tell you about the lead up to her departure.
                                        ****************************************
The Saturday before the BA left for the UK was the weekend of the AFL Grand Final. She decided to combine the event with a farewell party and asked us if we'd facilitate the affaire. Festivities were due to commence at 1.30pm and, on the dot, a minibus full of teenagers pulled up at our doorstep and disgorged seven boys and three girls. This was the first wave, but they wasted no time in pulling seats into an appropriate ringside position and settling in for the 'big game'.


Realising our modest TV screens were not going to cut it with the youth of today, Himself brought the big screen up from work and rigged it under the new pergola.


The boys were initially confused by the nature of our ring-in AV equipment and spent some time fiddling with the aerial until they realised it was not an HD screen. Heaven forbid!! In the end they seemed to cope.

Somewhat disturbing to the middle aged mother in me, although not necessarily to my 19 year old subliminal self, was the notable presence of multiple bottles of vodka. I mean! Sheesh! What happened to BEER????? (What's worse is that they dilute it with rubbish such as Passiona and Raspberry Crush!)

Anyway, we fed the crowd and as the afternoon progressed, another 10 or so teenagers joined the throng. It was in this atmosphere of both relief and frenzy, as we thanked God that it was all going smoothly and we could relax and watch the said football ourselves.....before putting on the next batch of spring rolls......... that the BA approached me, ashen faced.

"Mum, I can't find my passport folder."

Me: I am sure it will be somewhere in your room.
BA: No, I've looked...it's not there.
(sounds of guests coming in looking for food, looking for the hostess and cheering the most recent goal by the favoured underdog team).
Me: Well BA, now is a really bad time to try and look for it! I'm sure its around somewhere.
BA: The last time I saw it was yesterday afternoon in the city.....

Maybe it was the glass of wine I was sipping. Maybe it was the coming and going of guests. Maybe it was the bemused look on the faces of our adult guests? Maybe it was the frantic morning of shopping, cleaning and preparing for the event that influenced me. For whatever reason I was not going to let this blip on the radar ruin our afternoon.

Me: BA...chill out. You've got a house full of guests and we are not likely to be able to find your folder now. Go and have a glass of whatever it is you people drink and relax. We'll deal with the issue later.

In retrospect I was ridiculously calm.

I suppose I really thought it would be somewhere in her room. I mean, if you could see her room you would understand my nonchalance. My BA, for all her beauty, brains and charm, can be a bit of a ditz. I was sure that once the floor had been cleared, the bags emptied and the coat pockets checked, the offending folder would turn up.

Wrong.

On Sunday morning once the minibuses had departed, the collection and recycling of Smirnoff bottles completed and the detritus of the party rationalised into a mountain of dishes and food scraps, I started to address the issue of the missing passports. And e-ticket. They had all been in the same folder.

I nagged the BA out of bed and enforced a radical cleanup of her horrendous room. Nothing. We looked behind things, under things and in things. Nothing. She checked her car. Her friend checked her car. Eventually, I went and checked her car. No passport. I did find a wet tent which had been in her boot (trunk) for three months, since her last camping trip, but that did nothing to solve our problem or sweeten my mood. We went over her movements and the last time she'd seen the folder, hoping for some revelation. I suggested she call the police to see if it had been handed in. The police told her to file an online 'missing item' report. I decided to check the passport website.

The news was not good. The first thing it said was that it was a federal offence not to report the loss of a passport. And she had lost TWO passports. It also said that as soon as you reported a passport missing it would be cancelled and a new document would need to be issued, costing approximately $200. I had only just shelled out $200+ for the original passport so I was not feeling particularly generous, as you can imagine. I decided to call the travel agent and see what they recommended. After all, at this point it was about 55 hours until her scheduled departure.

The travel agent was incredibly helpful: sympathetic, practical and informative but at the end of the day it boiled down to this; she could get an emergency Australian passport within 24 hours (of calling on Monday) but it was going to cost, although not as much as rearranging her flights. The last time this had happened, the girl informed me in comforting tones, the passport had arrived at 3pm the following day. The BA was scheduled to depart at 6pm. Cutting it just a bit fine I thought.

In all this discussion of replacement of Australian passports I had minimised the issue of the missing UK passport. After all she could always get a replace that once she got to England. Couldn't she? "Does she have a visa for the UK?" asked the agent.
"Well, no," I replied, "we normally go into the UK on our UK passports. But I understand you can get in on an Aussie passport nowadays anyway, can't you?" The girl's brow furrowed, over the phone.
"Hmmmmm. How long is she going for? What date is her return ticket?"
"About 9 months. Her return ticket is for June."
There was a slight, barely discernible, but ominous pause.
"Ummmmmm, they're not going to let her into the UK for 9 months without a visa."
                                                          Oh f***.
"But she's a UK cit," I protested," she was born there!!"
"That may be," my adviser pointed out, "but without a passport, they may not let her in."
"Well how long will it take to get a visa??"
Again that momentary but ominous hesitation.....
"About two months. And you need to go to Victoria for an interview."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????

I drew breath and tried to focus on stilling the bongobeat of my heart. SURELY, she would be ok to get into the country? I mean, she has a UK birth certificate for f's sake! She would have grandparents (also citizens) waiting for her; surely they wouldn't stop her from entering the country???? But it was a real possibility. With a brow like thunder I informed her of this fact.

There were tears. Oh yes, there were tears. There was the suggestion of cancelling the trip (but your ticket is non-refundable BA...... >:-(....this will fix nothing!). There was remorse and fear and insecurity. Now, from a distance, it is hard to recall the sinking feeling that accompanied all this because, after all, now I know it turned out ok. But for several hours there on Sunday 29th of September I was in that place where a $2000+ ticket was in jeopardy; I was possibly up for a significant amount of dosh in terms of replacing passports, and the whole emotional build up to her Tuesday departure (including the whole 'why am I going away? Everything I have here is so good and it may not be here when I get back...') was possibly going to have to go onto the back burner and come up on repeat again when things got sorted. I gotta tell ya folks, I have been feeling a little fragile of late and this was not doing my heart/blood pressure/sanity any good at all!

But I am nothing if not pragmatic. I refused to report the lost passports until we had retraced her steps and assured ourselves that they were gone for good. I actually really thought they were. I thought someone must have lifted them out of her handbag or something. I really didn't think, as we set off into town, that we were ever going to see that mint green passport folder again.

We drove to the place she had parked. She paced about looking in bushes etc. We moved to the tram stop, which was a whole other kind of awful since it is outside the entrance to what was my Alma Mater, now a huge vacant block (do not start me on this). I couldn't wait to get out of there. No passport folder though. We drove into town, parked and walked down to the cafe/health food shop where the BA had been working this year. She had called them earlier in the day and told them of her loss but hadn't heard back so I had no great hopes of finding the missing items here. As we walked into the shop, one of the girls on the counter called out, "Oh, BA, I haven't had a chance to look for your passports yet. We've been so busy!"

The BA thanked her and made her way out back to look in the lockers. I put thoughts of immigration, money and passports out of my head as I looked at the herbal weight loss drugs and rubbed hand cream testers into the back of my hand. The things we do when stressed!!

I think I will forever hold in my memory, the moment when she appeared through the 'staff only' doors holding that Goddam Passport Folder in her hands. We looked at each other from opposite sides of the room and our mutual breath hold was practically audible. We paled, then we teared up, then we hugged, then we had to go and sit down.

It had been sitting up against the side wall of her locker, which was a similar light colour inside. She had been called away by the staff at the end of the day, to be given farewell gifts etc and she had pulled her bag and coat from the locker, not realising that the passport folder was not amongst them. In all honesty I cannot think of a recent time that I have been SO relieved. Which just goes to show how blessed I am. Cos after all, it was not the end of the world! But OMG for a few hours there on Sunday the 28th of September it sure felt close.

In a way, it was good it happened then. I'm pretty sure, for the BA, it was one of those life lessons which never leaves you. I just thank God it didn't happen when she was backpacking in East Germany.

Onward and upward I say!






Friday, 11 October 2013

Travellin' Twice The Speed of Sound


 I help her with her suitcase


 She stands before my eyes


 Driving her to the airport



And to the friendly skies
Going through security
I held her for so long
She finally looked at me and loved
And she was gone




Taken by The Baby Angel from the tarmac, looking back at us. This was just before we all simultaneously, without a word, raised our hands and waved. I wish she had caught that picture. 
That was a sight to remember.
(Me and Himself third from left)

Friday, 19 July 2013

And She's Away!

 Standing at the bus station with the Baby Angel, it suddenly occurred to me that I haven't seen her off at the airport this year. Now that she's finished school and is working (albeit part time), she hasn't done her holiday flights to her dad like she used to. Today she's off to spend 10 days with the returned soldier, for his 21st birthday. He's a country boy from the border of Victoria/NSW and he's spending his disembarkation leave back at home. We're not sure where this relationship is going. He's a lovely lad, but he's starting to think of the future and he's astute enough to realise that the BA isn't even close to that yet. Oh well, I hope she has a good time and stays safe. A 13 hour bus ride lies ahead of her. Hmmm. She met Soldier Boy on a plane. Maybe she'll meet someone else on the bus??

Monday, 27 May 2013

If You Love It Let It Go......

OK, so who was the smart a*****  d*** brain who said this then? Very good mate! Brilliant. Sounds great in theory.

I am having a hard time letting my butterfly go.
For one thing, I don't like the directions she flies in. Additionally, her wings are ever so fragile (though she is more from the 'My wings are like a shield of steel' school).

She rightly accuses me of hypocrisy (although I don't think I ever wore anything I had to be taped into) as I was a far from perfect teenager. Many have suggested that I may be reaping a severe case of karma, considering what I may or may not have put my own parents through.

All this is beside the point.

No. Actually. All this is exactly the point.

I am challenged by the  dichotomy of my own teenage (hell....let's face it...my 20s, 30s and even 40s) self and my feelings towards my daughter's developing identity.

It was all so much easier when she was a kid. Somewhere between here and here I was relieved of my Flaming Sword. It's still there mind you, in the background, hissing and spitting in a somewhat lacklustre manner. I can encourage you that, from time to time, I still reach for it.

Like last Sunday night when she came in and started to get ready to 'go out'.
Me: But it's Sunday....
Her: Oh Mum! I worked yesterday so I didn't get to go out.
Me: Ye-es. But...it's Sunday......
Her: Haha...yes Mum...don't worry, we'll have an early night...probably be home by 2 am
Me: (spluttering) 2 am??????? (This is obviously  some strange usage of the word "early" that I wasn't previously aware of).
Her: Haha...Mum you are so cute...
Me: No, you mistake me....don't you have work tomorrow?
Her: Yes but I don't start until 12pm...I can sleep in...
Me: But.....it's SUNDAY

So OK...that bit wasn't exactly me reaching for the sword.

Look, don't get me wrong, the BA is essentially a good kid. She volunteers at the Red Cross shop on Saturdays; she cleans up our kitchen (with a prompt); she gets to work on time; she is a loyal friend and enthusiastic employee. I just wish she didn't view the whole world through the lens of 'personal appearance/read: body image' and the motto 'I party therefore I am'.

I am hopeful that her overseas trip (when she gets to it) will sort out some of her priorities and help her settle to a more worthwhile purpose. It certainly had some effect on me in 1979 when I did my backpacking thing.

Of course her travel plans have been put somewhat on hold by the fact that this young man will be  back from Afghanistan in 2 weeks.



He has been away since March and he will have no doubt changed. I somehow feel that the BA will not commit fully to her overseas trip until she has run the course of things with this very nice, but inevitably 'not quite right for her', young man. Of course, I could be completely wrong and she may marry him and become an army wife.......
NAH....................

Now I wanted to finish with:
For those of you who visit this blog for wise insights into child rearing....could you please come back in about 5 years ad I'll give you the benefit of hindsight :-D;

but I suddenly realised I was thinking about this from completely the wrong angle.

The whole point of the Flaming Sword is that it 'sets things up'. What you do with these precious tiny souls throughout their formative years will have a major impact on their development at this end of the journey. Of course, you cannot really parent to totally avoid drugs and alcohol, you cannot parent to avoid stupid casual sex and you can rarely parent to avoid young men taking their motorbikes down the Norton Summit Rd at high speed (OMG I LOVE that you can just google that!) but you can know that underneath that veneer of testosterone or oestrogen, they are still the babies you nurtured.

Example in point: the other night the BA hopped into bed with me (in her onesie) to tell me she loved me. We discussed some of her friends and their choices, we reflected on her her various employments, we shared the excitement of Army Boy's early return date....

What she does on her 'nights out' is beyond my control. All that I can hope is that she has been imbued with sufficient sense of self to fend off the d*** br**ns and to conduct herself with dignity and self worth. There are definitely girls that age who do this. I know because I was always (sadly) bemused by them..........





Friday, 10 May 2013

Turning 18: Cutting The Cord

The first time  we severed the tie was moments after she was born. My sweet, sweet mother, who had no such support when she brought me into the world, took the pair of stainless steel pincers proffered by our wonderful midwife and made the cut as directed:

"Cut here," she said,"you can do it!"

And my mother cut. And my baby was free from me and yet with me.

My father once said to me that nothing altered your life as much as your child telling you they didn't need you any more.
"when you're having a child," he explained,"you do a fair bit of prep, and everyone tells you whats in store...so you have some idea. But nothing prepares you for the moment they tell you they don't need you."

Of course, I know it's not that straight forward. Heavens above, I went back to the bosom of my family at 34, when I was about to give birth to the BA! If you are blessed, as we are, as a family, you will always be connected to the people who grew you, loved you and turned you out into the world. But let's face it, we do have to turn these babies out into the world. And mostly they're champing at the bit to get there....

If you haven't guessed, we're about to celebrate a milestone birthday.

In Australia, the 18th birthday signifies a coming of age.
Driving in SA: 16-17 (recently you can't get your full licence until 18...but only recently)
Voting: 18
Drinking:18

When I was a gal, the 21st birthday was the big event. But this was obviously a persistent hangover (pardon the Freudian slip)  from the days when you qualified for drinking and voting at 21. I'm not actually sure when the 18th took over from the 21st as the milestone birthday, but take over it did.....

And so I am faced with the second cutting of the cord, with all its attendant stresses:
Where is she? What time will she be home? How many of her clothes will she have left behind her in a trail from the nightclub to the taxi...........

Happy Birthday my wild Baby Angel as you flutter into your nineteenth year.







Wednesday, 6 March 2013

ENOUGH!

Despite the Flaming Sword, I have completely failed to teach my child the basics of a civilised life.

She does not squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.

She does not put her folded clothes into those handy receptacles we call drawers.

She does not clear her hair from the shower drain as a matter of courtesy and she never throws anything out.....

even when it is finished.

Today I counted three used bottles of blemish remover in her makeup bag. In her shower cubicle there are no less than 6 empty containers ranging from shampoo to exfoliant to fake tan. Her 'desk' in her room contains so many old school exercise books and opened and discarded official forms, letters and brochures that if she had indeed intended to go to university this year, she would have had to study from the floor.

I am of the belief that these kinds of habits are inculcated at a young age and become automatic, setting one up well for adulthood and flat sharing with friends (without the danger of never speaking to each other again afterwards). Firm instruction (aka nagging) and a good role model would, I believed, result in the lifelong adoption of these basic and essential elements for living alongside others.

I am tempted to revert to Joan Crawford methods. Where are those wire coat hangars?

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Closing Time: In Which The Dysfunctional Family Pulls Together For The Sake of the BA. Almost.

Occasionally I wish I could assign background music to blog posts. This track would be my choice now.

On the 11th of December the BA attended her last function as a student of St Saviour's College.

On the 12th of December she became an Old Scholar.

Her Dad and Stepmum flew over from Sydney for the occasion. There was much excitement. Having worked until 5.30pm that day and, given we were due at the function centre by 6.45pm, I flew into the house in a state of high anxiety to be confronted by these scenes:





 (She really liked her pockets).

After the obligatory photos the BA, her Dad and Stepmum headed off to have the group photo taken at the venue while the rest of us wrestled with our attire. Himself had to squeeze himself into an aged dinner suit coat and tie, Grandma and Grandad had it all sorted...and I had a complete hissyfit breakdown.

Interestingly, one of the things which has impacted upon my blogging this year is my midlife, torn tendon impacted, weight gain. Having been a consistent 53kg for a majority of my adult life, up to and including the aftermath of chidlbirth, I have been gradually stacking on weight since I turned 40. At 50 and running out of girl germs, I moved into yet another new dress size and a hitherto un-experienced inability to easily touch my toes.
Now don't get me wrong. I know that, for some of my friends, my plaintive wails of weight gain fall on intolerant ears. But it's all relative when an older counterpart looks like this:



and your own attempts to squeeze into something flattering render one desperate. After a small meltdown, my mother patted me on the back sufficiently to get me out of the door. Needless to say we were running late.

We arrived on the banks of the River Torrens and found Dad and Step-mum at a lovely alfresco bar, on the same level, but tucked in behind, the multi-entranced, multi-roomed Convention Centre.



Here is the BA's step-mother again, looking exceptionally beautiful and elegant, while Her Dad, in typically over effusive fashion, offered to buy us all champagne. I looked dubiously at my watch; considered our location relative to the entrance to the function centre and the complexity of the inner layout; and decided we probably shouldn't bother. Too late. We were all raising our glasses to our girl when my phone whistled a message:

     Typical, it's starting and you're the last ones here.

We all bolted down our drinks (I felt sorry for the boys as they had pints of beer....I'm pretty sure Himself was the only one who actually finished his in the 45secs we gave ourselves. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing) and flew to the nearby entrance, to find it locked.

There ensued a scene of typical family chaos, the kind you get when the family in question consists of two Principals, two ex-Principals, one ex-Dean of Science and a company director. Leadership flashed from person to person at the speed of light and the mob changed direction just as quickly. Not to sound my own horn here, but my move of asking a staff member from the bar to let us in, was an intelligent one, I thought. Shame her swipe card didn't work. In the end, another bar staff member ushered us through a hidden door and we followed the signs through lofty, glass corridors


 and up stairs (ok so we weren't on the right level) to the 'St Saviour's 2012 Graduation Ball' room. All the while the text messages flew backwards and forwards between the BA and I:

   We are here, the door was locked!
   The doors aren't locked! Come to the front entrance!
   We would if we could FIND it!!!!
   hkjluoijyufrtdrefgshdh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are hopeless!!!!!!!!!!!


Of course we got there in the end, only to find that our large group had been split across two tables! Two seats on one table and five on the other!! Now, how to work that one out given the dynamics of the group!!!????

In the midst of all this, Himself had been getting crabbier and crabbier. Not known for his patience, the events of the night had been stacking up against him. Let's start with the fact that he thought he'd attended her Graduation the previous week.

In its wisdom, St Saviour's has an end of year Graduation Mass in the last week of school, and then follows it up with a Ball the week after. Himself had been told about these two events, but in his very visual mind, he had merged them into one. One which, on the morning of the Grad Ball, he believed he had already attended.

Himself: What do you mean there's a Ball tonight?????
Me: The Grad Ball! You know, we've talked about this!
Himself: I thought that was last week!
Me: That was the Graduation Mass! What did you think I was making the dress for????
Himself: Huh. Well, I don't know...
Me: And anyway, Her Dad even said to you, 'see you next week'....
Himself: Well, do I have to go?
ME: YES YOU HAVE TO GO; THE TICKET COST ME $100 b;^%%$ DOLLARS!!!!!

Of course, had the experience of the previous week been less traumatic, I probably would not have had to deal with all this angst. But having survived this other rather stressful occasion, Himself believed he had fulfilled his commitment to the BA's Graduation. Imagine his horror when he discovered (now hang on, I had hardly been hiding it from him...after all) that he had yet another event to attend. And this time in 'formal' attire! Add to that our late arrival and the fact that our party had been split, and you can imagine the state he was working himself into.

Given Himself's high dudgeon, I elected to stay at the table with him in the split table scenario. This could have meant that Himself and I sat at a table on our own whilst the BA and the rest of the family sat at the main table. It could have meant Mum and Dad being sectioned off onto the separate table, or Her Dad and Step Mum being separated from us. In the end we put the BA and her dad (who had travelled a long way to see her) on the smaller table and the rest of us sat together. It meant Her Dad and her Step Mum were separated, hardly an ideal situation, but Step Mum handled everything with her usual grace so we moved on to the first course.



Himself had steak which I thought would please him.
"How's your steak?" I inquired cheerfully.
"Average" came the curt response.
It was going to be a long night.

The BA wasn't that far away though. Here she is taken from my seat at my table.


(I often wonder whether the BA and her generation will look at photos like this and wonder what the h*** they were doing. But here it is for posterity!)

Fortunately there are others.



One of the key elements of the Graduation Ball is the act of being presented by your father to receive your Graduation Ring.


This is a hugely important moment in the life of any St Saviour's graduate. Unfortunately, (particularly as far as Himself was concerned) there were 84 Graduates. The BA was not amongst the first. A quick glance at Himself's visage was sufficient to convince me that he was not loving this process. Whereas my mother and I enjoyed hearing every girl's story, checking out her dress and wishing her well with heartfelt applause, Himself became more and more resentful. Well, it did take over an hour. Half way through he marched out for a cigar.

Once the presentations were over, the formal 'dance' part of the evening proceeded. This was the one thing Her Dad had been looking forward to for ages. When we separated in the third year of our marriage with the BA still just a positive result on a path test, he never believed he would be involved in her life to this extent. He was radiant, if intense.



As the mass of white satin, diamante and serious old serge processed around the floor, the MC asked people to remain seated so that everyone could see (bear in mind that there were 168 people on the dance floor!).  Himself prepped his fancy, schmancy camera, I got my PAS ready on video mode and the music began........ and 140 people leaped from their seats and rushed to the edge of the dance floor for a better look!

Himself was furious. I can't recall his exact words as he ranted at me, but they involved 'selfish a*******s', 'pathetic organisation' and a 'waste of a $100 ticket'. He stormed off again to attack yet another defenseless cigar whilst Dad and I were left to crawl (literally) through the ranks of spectators to try and get a glimpse of our two on the dance floor.
Eventually the dads dropped the daughters off in a long line in front of the stage and we had genuine photo opportunities.















Eventually, the BA raced over to us and asked that we come out to the 'photobooth' to have a formal family shot taken. 
"But I'm not part of the family," grumbled Himself, "I don't want to be in the photo."
He could not protest for long as the BA draped her arms around him and literally begged.
"Puh-leeeeeease Himself? I reeeeeeally want you to be in the photo. It's important to me!"
It's difficult to resist a line like that so he capitulated and followed us out to the foyer where the professional photographers were making money like a well oiled machine.

(Perhaps, in retrospect, that's what really annoyed him?)

Having joined a queue, we had been waiting a bare 5 minutes when Himself again flew into another rage.
"This is ridiculous having to wait like this! I don't want to do this!!"
He was halfway out of the area in high 'stalk' when I caught up with him and read him the riot act.
I got him back. He is smiling, but look at the body language!


Some of us managed to enjoy the rest of the night.


There was dancing, for many of us,


but in the end I suggested Himself take the aging parentals home whilst Her Dad, Step Mum and I finished the night off with pancakes.


He was delighted to comply.

On the 19th of December we received the news that our gal had finished her schooling in the top 10% of the state and was positioned well for entrance into the Uni course of her choice.

On around the 22nd of December, the Baby Angel's immune system collapsed under the weight of all her recent excitement and she was laid completely flat with suspected Glandular Fever (aka mono).

She is still resting up.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

For The Baby Angel Although She Would Be Horrified















How do I let you go?
How do I let you go after I have loved you so long?
How do I hand you over to another's hand?
Small, snuggling, needy child
You grew
Every stage of growth
A loss
Every moment a treasure
A robbery

How do I let you go?
After I have loved you so long?
It is time
Time
Relentless ruthless foe
It is time
Loss
It is life that makes this so

No-one took you from me
There was no tragedy
But the moment you were born
the end began.








Photo credit

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Formal Number Three: From the Ridiculous to the Sublime.

When The Baby Angel announced the invite to her THIRD Formal in one year, my heart sank. After the trauma of sending her off, partially clothed, to the last dance (and I use the term dance loosely), I was terrified by the thought of a) the cost and b) the modesty battle involved in this next invite.


I mean, I don't know what it's like in your part of the world but the early 70s fashion for ludicrously short skirts has re-emerged with a vengeance over here in Aus.
Girls are frequently attired in nothing more than a couple of tea towels tied at the shoulder, usually with a price tag equivalent to the GDP of a small African nation. When browsing the pages of online clothing companies of late, I have been confused by pictures of what seem to me to be obviously shirts, being described as dresses!






These two are some of the tamer examples.






And it seems that everyone is wearing them! Some of the nicest girls from the BA's former school, the really studious ones who don't even have facebook, are turning up to 18th birthdays wearing little more than extended 'boob tubes'.


At each party the BA attends, her dress gets shorter and shorter until I am entreating her to 'take a cardigan in case it gets cold'. I am, judging by some old photos I have recently discovered, possibly more prudish than my own mother!



And after seeing this photo (circa 1975) I will never complain about the BA wearing short shorts again either!

So it was with trepidation that I started to ask her about her dress plans for this next Formal. I bravely tried, once more, to suggest a re-run of the black dress worn at St Saviour's Formal. I should have saved my breath. Then, after a chance buy at the supermarket, the movie High Society came to my rescue. It turns out that the BA is a closet Grace Kelly fan with a penchant for the fashions of the 40s and 50s!! Having established this, I started to trawl photos of Grace and her outfits on google, comparing them to vintage Vogue patterns on ebay. Now don't ask me how we got to this one but the BA chose it:


And...she agreed to let me make it for her! Given the last disaster I was touched that she still trusted me.

We chose fabric, I made the whole thing up in a calico first and agreed to a few modifications. The sleeves were taken in, the skirt was narrowed and the split up the front was extended. So, here are the results...






I was pretty pleased with the result, with the possible exception of the obvious 'line' above the split (at knee height) where the facings had been tacked in behind. She was happy with it too and felt proud that she had been the only girl there wearing long sleeves! Not sure how her date felt about that :-)

(Oh and yes, that is a new beau. Already! Although I think he has competition from another. Oh to be so spoiled for choice!!)





Friday, 3 August 2012

Formal: The Painless One



Forgive the lateness of this post and my echoing absence from the blogosphere. I have been totally absorbed with recovering from my op and getting my shoulder back. I can happily report I am now typing two handed, although it tires me, but I still need at least 10 hours sleep a night. As you can imagine, this cuts into blogging time.
ANYway, the reason this post is entitled 'The Painless One' is because there is another Formal looming (tomorrow) and we are at 'car door slamming' stage.

 Who could believe that this sweet, bonny child:



 happily sitting as the hairdresser makes her even more beautiful:


 and the make-up artist does her 'thing':


 so that she begins the night looking like this:


 is ACTUALLY an enfant terrible with an unquenchable thirst for shoes and clothes which contain less fabric than a tea towel and cost more than the annual GDP of a small African nation!????????

She did look lovely however:


 with her attentive beau (who has recently gone off travelling to Asia but that's another post!).

 It was lovely to see that they've re-introduced the quaint 'corsage' custom,



  after which we were off to the 'before' party. Yes, they have 'before' parties.

There were the obligatory poses with friends, during which I was given to wonder whether some lessons in 'choosing fashion which flatters' should be re-introduced to the curriculum.


I know, I know I sound awful but really...such pretty girls with some very unwise choices!!!


I was particularly surprised by the 'low key' nature of some frocks.


Consider the blue flapper number on the left, the greenish one next to it which reminds me of 'resort' wear, the underwhelming short silver number at the centre with Minnie Mouse shoes and the heavily patterned blue dress fifth from the right which, although I know it was her mother's and therefore sentimental, also resembled something you'd wear to the beach. And do not even start me on the sweet girl in the sofa dress (third from left).

So there you have it. I am not the nice person I pretend to be. I would secretly like to take them ALL shopping and get them lovely, appropriate dresses which do justice to their inner and outer beauty.

But aside from all that, the girls had planned ahead for the 'after party' and subsequent sleep over:


 and departed in a state of high excitement on their 'ride'.


 And that was the first Formal.

The impending event (this Saturday) has been overshadowed by the BA's all consuming need to wear something different! After all, the photos of this dress have been all over facebook!

Will the Flaming Sword survive this most recent challenge? Stay tuned to see how it plays out.