Thanks for all your expressions of sympathy over my little rant last night.
I'm feeling a bit sheepish today however. My sister phoned from the UK today and really grilled me over how serious I was about changing jobs. She has good creds on this count as she was a secondary German teacher and, having moved from a lovely school in the countryside near Leeds to an inner city maladjusted teenfest establishment, wisely quit teaching altogether to take up a highly satisfying job in University Administration. Her message of course is this: what am I doing to change my situation?
The more she hassled me, the more cagey I became and I am forced to ask myself why?
1) I don't really WANT to change jobs. I have experienced a great deal of change in my life (as attested to by my mother's address book entries under my name) and some fairly major change in the last 10 years so actually, I am reluctant to upset the status quo. Also, the stress involved in learning a new job is almost as daunting as the day to day stress of the current one.
2) I don't like to leave something I haven't conquered. I know, don't tell me, I am a self confessed control freak but I also don't like to be a 'quitter'. What I really want is to be good enough at my job that these recalcitrant children will sing my praises and proclaim me as the marvellous teacher I am. OK, maybe it's less about control and more about vanity. (again)
3) I like my colleagues, I like my work environment (mostly) and I like my role as House Co-ordinator. (Have I mentioned recently that we are leading the race for the House Cup????)
But are these things enough to compensate for the constant frustration I feel and the effect that it's having on my health, weight, alcohol consumption and self esteem?
4) I am a little nervous of the prospect of rejection. As in, no one else will want me.
5) The very act of seeking alternate employment is time consuming and I have enough to do as it is. I know. This one is pretty lame.
6) This year the musical is Annie and I'm the stage manager and costume coordinator again. I have been trying to get them to let me understudy Miss Hannigan but there is some ridiculous policy about students having to play the roles. ;-)
At the end of the phone call I had to acknowledge that if I am not prepared to do something about it I must stop whinging.
But what the hell. It's my blog. If you get sick of the whinging you can skip those posts :-D
Had to laugh. This is a promotional shot for a play called 'Sheepish'. The world's first play about an openly gay sheep. Bwahahaha.