Outgoing Message on a High School Answering Machine:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable and Responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it. (OUCH! not sure about this one...)
2 comments:
Yeah, that last sentence sort of makes it icky.
Have fun in Sydney!
Yeah the entire thing is hilarious until that last line! I liked number 1 and number 5 a lot. I've needed number three myself a couple times in the past month/past years.
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