Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

You Have Reached "At The End Of Our Tether" High School

This came to me via email and despite protestations that it is a REAL message on the REAL answering machine at Maroochydore High School, I do not think for one moment that our professional Sunshine State cousins would actually implement such a thing. I do think however, that they would LIKE to.

Outgoing Message on a High School Answering Machine:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable and Responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it. (OUCH! not sure about this one...)

2 comments:

A Free Man said...

Yeah, that last sentence sort of makes it icky.

Have fun in Sydney!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Yeah the entire thing is hilarious until that last line! I liked number 1 and number 5 a lot. I've needed number three myself a couple times in the past month/past years.