They're at it again on the radio. Should we allow manufacturers to promote foods by putting cartoon characters on the packets? It makes supermarket trips hard work. After all it is not fair on parents that they have to say 'No' to their kids.
What? NOT FAIR? What's fair got to do with it? Its our b****y JOB!!!!!
No, you can't touch the hot plate. No, you can't get in the deep end without an adult. No you can't go to bed without brushing your teeth. No you can't hit the little boy who has your toy. No, you can't stay out til midnight when you have school tomorrow. No you can't date the a**hole with the tattoos. (OK sorry, got carried away with the last one)
Too many parents are frightened of
a) their children not loving them
b) other parents judging them as they deal with a tantrum.
Just quietly, the second is more likely to occur than the first and those 'judgers' are usually either people who've never had children or .........no, that's it. How many times have I smiled empathetically at other parents in the supermarket queue as they restrained their squirming, squealing toddler/child/teenager. Well, ok not many on the last count! Real parents know and understand. We have all been there.
People who 'tut' in supermarkets and mutter things about 'discipline' under their breath, have got the wrong end of the stick. What do they think the tactical ignoring and removal of a child from a situation is? That is discipline!! Unfortunately for them, since the removal of thumbscrews, the rack and the wooden spoon, discipline occurs in public. Not giving in, saying what you mean and maintaining boundaries by delivering consequences are the strongest forms of discipline necessary for most children. They are however, at times, the most difficult to implement.
The whole cartoon characters debate is a flawed one. Children have always nagged parents for the 'sweet' option. Some of the better quality yoghurts and cheeses here have 'names' selling them: The Wiggles, Thomas the Tank Engine, Teletubbies. The issue is not what is on the packet but whether parents are consistently discerning purchasers. If you cannot bear the fight, buy the good food and top up the 'guilt' factor at the counter with a comic or Shrek colouring book. At least they will be reading or being creative and their teeth and fitness will thank you.
Better still, don't give in to guilt at all. What have you got to be guilty about? Your child is loved, fed, clothed, housed, educated and kept healthy. If you still feel bad, there is an underlying issue which needs resolving and best you do that rather than buy them a 'Pot O' Chocolate'!!
4 comments:
Great post! As a mother of a one and a half year old, I do struggle with the "what will other people think" embaressment when discipline is necessary in public. But then I remind myself that anyone who has kids understands...and those who don't WHO CARES?!
But no! You wrong us! It is not PWOC (Persons without Children) who make judgements about such things. In fact we rejoice at any evidence that discipline for young children still exists in this world. No - it is those who have been through the process, forgotten what it was like and can look back with self-satisfied smugness. After all, they never said a harsh word to little Johnny - and he never grew up to be an axe murderer. And those rumours about dealing drugs? Well you can't believe what people say, after all ...
Great advice. What helped me was that I didn't give into it even when I thought they wouldn't know. It's easy to by a baby bib with Elmo on it because it's "cute" but that's where it starts. I taught my girls early on that commercial isn't better. Not that I still don't struggle with it, but it's easier.
love it! and I never feel any guilt for saying "no." actually, sometimes I just say "no" so Lauren will hear it and have to deal with it. I especially enjoy doing this when she's just a bit on the crabby side...okay, I'm not that antagonistic, but I have no problems/guilt when I don't allow her something. We've only had one public 'incident' and that was a couple years ago, so hopefully we're past that. with Lauren.
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