The Infamous Paint Incident: or How to make yourself REALLY unpopular in one easy lesson.

I haven't got enough to do.

This must be obvious to anyone. Why then, if I did, would I have volunteered for Sunday School?

My church, of which I am a relatively new member having given the old Anglican Church the boot recently, has not had a functioning Sunday School for two terms now. There has not been a leader. Many of us have volunteered for a 'Kids Alive' program which was basically a babysitting service keeping the 'noisy ones' occupied and 'out of the service' but this was always just a stop gap measure.

Recently, the pastor phoned a number of us up and invited us to attend a meeting to 'brainstorm' ideas for Children's Ministry. I was delighted, as a relative outsider, to be included. I had also made it known that I would be more than happy to be involved in any Sunday School activities or even planning as I had been involved in my last church. I wondered what the meeting would entail.

Well, it was very exciting. We established a format and made a start at rosters and resource ideas. The pastor also told us that he intended us to 'brighten up' the room used by 'Kidzone' (aka Sunday School) by the 5th Aug for a 'launch'!
hahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahha

Sorry, that was me laughing hysterically.

Brighten up, it transpires, meant repaint the entire 18mx10m double room in bright, child friendly colours. By the 5th Aug. With volunteers.

OK. We swallowed our panic and turned our minds to colour schemes. One of the ladies had a copy of the IKEA catalogue. We spied a page layout which appealed to us and selected the marine 'blue and green' theme. We then left the job of getting test pots etc to, the pastor and another volunteer from the church who is a signwriter.

The following week we reconvened and were asked to come and look at the test pots the signwriter had used on the walls.

They were yellow and blue.

There was general confusion. Many of the older committee members renegged swiftly and proclaimed the colours 'delightful'. Others, like me, simmered slowly on the backburner. The yellow was industrial, it did nothing for the blue, there was nothing fun or funky about it.

What to do, what to do? A new committee member, no-one knows me from Adam, I should just shut up, after all, what did it really matter?

"Errrrrrrrrrrrr....," (was that voice mine)?
"Yes?" the pastor inquired.
"Errrrrrrrrrrr............well....................errrrr.....why did we not go with the green?"

A flurry of conversation. Too sickly, too strong, too loud, ceilings too low, room too big etc etc etc

"Uuuuum..........I think it could work. I think it would be fun and funky if we got the right combination." (Good grief, will I never shut up?)
"Could I please get my husband to look at the room, and our IKEA picture inspiration? I know he would just be able to point at the colours we need." (Oh great, now I've involved Himself as a third party without even asking).

There was grudging and muttered conversation. The sign writer was really put out.
"Well," he snipped (not quite as bad as snapped) " I have limited time to get this done you know. I have some volunteers available Fri night but I'd need to know the colours by Fri morning so I can buy them at trade prices." Glare.

******************************* Fri morning**************************************
Having completely failed to get down to the church to look at the room or get any paint charts Himself was facing divorce or at least a Non Co-operation Policy. It didn't help that our last conversation about it occurred as I was rushing out the door to work and he was asleep.
"Its not the end of the world"' he grunted as he rolled over.

Huh, he hadn't seen the look on the face of the signwriter!!!

So on the Friday morning I had to ring the signwriter and tell him I didn't have any colours for him ....yet. I flew out in my my double free lesson and, clutching my IKEA catalogue, made for the local Super hardware store.

After 30 min I had a selection of possible colours but no firm idea of which ones would be just right. Left to me I would have bought 6 tester pots and made a patch work quilt of the wall before deciding none were quite right, but I did not have the luxury this time.

A quick prayer and I flew down to Himself's office clutching my swatch of colour samples.
"Lord, this is to be a place for inspiring children with your message. If you want it to work, let Himself be NOT in a meeting when I get there!!!!!!" ( I am not above bargaining with God at times).

Himself was out on the pavement having a cigar. (he doesn't actually smoke hahahahahahaha)

In a flurry of colours and phrases such as 'that will pop', 'those two are really sexy', 'that's a sit on the fence colour', 'that's too dirty', we settled on three colours. Water Raceway, Sharp Green and Modal (a greeny sky blue).

I then had to ring the sign writer. I was 5 mins inside his 'latest convenient time'. I was not popular. He didn't have a pen and was not able to discuss which wall each colour would go on. After all "I am a sign writer, I do know what I'm doing!"

Ouch

That was Friday. I peeked through the window on Sat to see the first coat looking very 'in your face' indeed. Imagine the trepidation I experienced as I got ready for church on Sunday morning. How badly would they hate it? Would I have to eat major humble pie and volunteer to pay for all replacement paint and do the cover up job myself???????????? (noises of hyperventilation)

I should have had more faith.

By Sunday they had done a second coat. The colours are stunning. Loud, but stunning.

Of course I had to endure the inevitable "Which Italian restaurateur chose these colours?" and
"I wouldn't want to be in here with a hangover" but as we said, it wasn't chosen for them. Its for the kids.

So, how are the sign writer and I getting along? Well, the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

It was evident he had not forgiven me entirely on Sunday although I did apologise profusely for being a pushy, bossy, passionate type. I offered to come and help paint whenever I was required now my busy weekend was over and I gave him my 'business card'. Now I put this in inverted commas because I have never had a business card in my life until my husband decided I needed one to help make contacts for the business. On our company's business card my title is 'Production'. Whatever that means!!

Aaaaaaaanyway. As I handed the signwriter my card the most remarkable expression passed over his face. He began to laugh.

"I can't believe who you are," he shook his head,"I work with your husband. I did the signs on his window and the name for his boat!"

The Lord works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.

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Post Script: The colours look sensational (although you can be sure at least 50% of the congregation will hate them), the sign writer thinks I'm OK and the kids are going to have a great space to be in next Sunday for the launch of Kidzone.

Now to plan what I'm going to do with them.