Small Boy helped Dad cut up the vegetables for a 'big plate of food' dinner and was justifiably proud of himself. He had a lovely weekend with us this weekend. No tantrums, mostly co-operative, minimal X Box, a big bike ride with dad (who is now in a wheelchair hahaha) and of course, helping with dinner. He commented as we ate, "I know the rules here now.""What do you mean mate?" I asked, a little confused by this statement, apropos of nothing.
"Well, I know the rules, you haven't shouted at me for weeks now!"
Oh wicked, wicked stepmother shouting at this cherubic child I hear you tutting.
On the contrary! This cheerful, smiling, relaxed boy is the result of my flaming sword!! My rules do not change. When I say bedtime I mean it! With hot water bottles!! I expect him to be able to put things away because he is an intelligent, capable boy. I don't treat him like a baby but I do reassure him when he is afraid even if it's the middle of the night. I will insist he gets himself breakfast because he needs fuel for his boundless energy but I will make him two pies for lunch because the convection microwave is a bit complicated. (and he needs fattening up!!) I will insist he turn off the X Box and go outside to play. I will play Battleships with him and Racing Demons (card game) even when he has a tantrum because he didn't win and I will 'force' him to clean his teeth even when he tells me its 'his choice'.
He knows the rules now. Of course he's known them for some time but I feel encouraged that he can articulate his understanding and acceptance. I also hope he knows that we have the rules because we love him, no matter what. No matter how embarrassing his public tantrums have been or how many times he tells us he hates us and wants to go back to Mum's.
Yes, I think good secure boundaries make for happy kids.
Mind you, he could just be happy because his step sister is in Sydney and he has Dad and I to himself!!!
4 comments:
It sounds like you are doing a good job at setting boundaries. Kids need that, most definitely. I know my son is going to be a challenge to raise since he has a hard time controlling his emotions. I know all about public tantrums, unfortunately. ;) It is our job as parents to just ignore those "I don't like you!" comments and show them how to act proper.
Hear, hear Stacy! I hereby knight you 'Effective Parent' with my Flaming Sword!! ;-D
I can't imagine what it's like to be a step-mom, but I'm sure it's not easy. Sounds like your pretty good at it, though...
I dunno...ask Small Boy and Door to Door Salesman! Himself tells me I am doing a good job though....
Post a Comment