NaBloPoMo 7: Still Waiting

May 1st 1995

One week overdue. Eugh. I feel like an eggbound duck. I can't get around much as the pressure is uncomfortable. Tomorrow is the cervical sweep. Roll on. I feel "bunged up".

May 6th

Still no baby.

Tuesday; has the cervical sweep. Anne said the cervis was still right up behind the babies head-not thinned out at all! Depression. :-(
Wednesday; Anne visited and we discussed all possibilities including how to make inductionless traumatic.
Thursday: tried acupuncture. I feel it did some good although I don't know what. No immediate results. Had left over curry for lunch and went for a walk with Mum around the Sports Centre. Lots of Braxton-Hicks but nothing else.

Friday: Active Birth. Everyone said "Oh no!. You're not STILL here!!!!" Went up to the ward to see Anne who had another look and said the cervix had definitely thinned out a bit but there was no dilation yet. :-(
So it's Saturday and I'm still waiting.
Other events this week....
Dad's department underwent TQA and received an 'excellent'.

Middle Sis and B-I-L went to Corfu. I visited the home of one of the girls from Active Birth.

We're going to Exbury Gardens tomorrow with
B & B...then into Princess Anne Hospital for prostin pessaries on Sunday night and "the drip" on Monday!!! Oh dear- I am nervous. Still, I should have her by Tuesday. HOORAY!!

Pictures: (above) Enjoying my last day of life being responsible only for myself. Exbury Gradens were particularly beautiful that year, on that day. Check out the reflections here. I remember we heard a cuckoo too that day. My first.

That is me in the middle of the picture below, looking like I have a pillow down my front!! My smile here belies the nerves I was feeling about the coming 24 hours.

NaBloPoMo 6: Overdue

28th April 1995

T + 4 days. I am now 4 days overdue. Anne the midwife came today and said the head has definitely engaged.

Monday: the due date was really an anti-climax. I moved from "it could happen any time' to "well, now I'm overdue." :-(
Tuesday I felt sure that something was happening as I had low tightening and niggly pains but Anne says that could have been her head dropping. She is still very active; still getting her foot under my rib quite frequently and bouncing around on my intestines :-( I felt ok however and went shopping ( always a good move) .
Wednesday was a downer again. Mainly stayed home and slept. Thursday and Friday ok as the sun came out again. I planted some impatiens for Mum and made the lining for the 'change basket' (eds note: a basket you keep next to the change table containing baby powder, cream etc).

(Picture: the frill I made for the moses basket; my hospital bag on the floor being packed; bedding and presents being sorted)


Friday was Active Birth classes again and then Lil Sis and her fiance arrived. It was like Christmas!
There were many jokes at Aquanatal and Active Birth about me still 'being here'. Several people offered to come visiting as they know I have no immediate circle of friends here. Very nice of them I thought. Getting sick of the phone ringing with people asking "Are you still there...haven't you had it yet????"
Cervical sweep next Tuesday if 'no go' by then. Induction Monday 8th May if still no show. She could be born on the Bestie's Mum's birthday!! (9th May)

(Arranging the bedroom in preparation. Look at those tiny booties. The pink rabbit (Rattle Bunny) on top of the shelves was her bedtime companion up until she was about 9. She has been recently rediscovered, slightly the worse for wear and has taken her rightful place again.)

NaBloPoMo 5: Monday April 3rd 1995

Boy- it's been a month!
Here are some things which have happened.

I was sick for a week. What a shocker of a cold that was. Spent three days in bed and dragged myself out on Thursday to see 'Hot Shoe Shuffle' in Chichester which was WONDERFUL!!

My boxes arrived from Aus and Dad and I took 3 and a quarter hours to get to the place in London where they were stored. One hour was to get to Marylebone Rd and the rest was getting through London with traffic jams, road works and wrong turns. We made the freight yards with minutes to spare before they closed!!! Whew.

Other developments this month. My brother-in-law's Dad died which was very sad. Poor Middle Sis is really sitting back and reassessing life. (Eds note:She had also been involved in witnessing a road accident in January in which a woman was killed) She had a week in Cyprus and Dad has just gone to Spain.

I have been embroidering furiously. I now have to make the frill for the moses basket and I still have a maternity top on the go which I won't need if I don't get on with it!!! Yesterday, Mam and I started packing my hospital case. (Picture: Me asleep with the cat on my 'embroidery chair'. The unfinished piece is over the back of the chair.)

I keep getting very weepy. This morning I woke up and had a cry over everything in my life I had messed up.....like a waitressing job way back when. Can you believe it? I worry that I will pass on all my hang ups to my child. I am so afraid of loss at present. I'm afraid of losing my parents. I'm afraid of losing this baby after she's born. I'm afraid of losing all my friends if I don't go back to Australia but then I'm afraid of losing my family if I do.......

I am so tired at the moment.

Perhaps this is pre-natal depression?

Status report: Belly big. Muscles separated between navel and ribcage. Head descending (according to Anne, my midwife) Baby usually fairly active, all visible from the exterior. Still only one varicose vein and no other nasty varicosities thank goodness. Feet slightly swollen for the first time this weekend. Must get back to the exercises. Missed aquanatal and swimming last week because we were at 'The Marriage of Figaro' and 'Oliver' on Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was lovely being in London. I felt I was back in the real world.

'Oliver!': spectacular sets; conductor on 'speed'. I think they had to get the kids offstage before 10pm. Equity rules perhaps? Anyway Mum and I came out exhausted! :-)

'Marriage of Figaro': Opera is too long for me. Enjoyed the first half very much but in the second half the baby was doing gymnastics!!! Champagne at half time. Lovely!

Have also been attending Active birth classes. Cried like a baby the first time. Mum came to the partner's session the second time and I was fine the third time. Saw 2 x 5 day old babies from girls who had been in the first class. Lovely! Am looking forward to meeting my daughter.
(Making a blanket to be embroidered)

NaBloPoMo 4: Back to The Journal

26th February 1995 (30 weeks?)

What a long time since I've written! I've had all but no teaching this month. 1 day only but I have been observing a little boy with behavioural issues at Mum's nursery.

I have progressed from mildly pregnant, to definitely pregnant, to heavily pregnant in the last week! The baby is definitely a girl according to ultrasounds on 15th Feb. She is also making movements which I can relate to arms and legs instead of vague bubbly feelings. Occasionally I am sure she rolls right over as sometimes movement will occur all down one side and at other times it will be all down the other side. At the moment it is right behind my NAVEL!! My skin feels so tight it is itchy.

School in Australia seems so far away now. I guess they're all settled in to their 'new routines' without me. :-(

Been very 'cultural' this month. Went to see 'Barber of Seville', an English version (v funny). Will be seeing 'Hot Shoe shuffle' and 'Marriage of Figaro' next month. Hoping to get to 'Priscilla QOTD' with Mum and Dad, Middle Sis and Brother-in-law this wek.

Have made a maternity dress, skirt and leggings(what a disaster they turned out to be) and have a top to make. Have borrowed copious quantities of stuff from B and B, moses basket, baby bath, pram etc etc. At least 3 drawers full of clothes.

Starting to get the bedroom organised to make way for baby furniture and am trying to get into the 'mid-wifery led care' group so that I at least know 'somebody' in the hospital when I go into labour!! (fun, fun, fun)

Have decided to enrol in Active Birth classes.

NaBloPoMo 3: Even though I've posted already today!

29th January 1995

Well, as I lie here writing, the staff of C (my school in Sydney) and every other school in NSW will probably be in a staff meeting planning 1995. I wonder how many classes there'll be and who will get swapped around before the week is out? I wonder if the new demountable whas arrived? I wonder how A is? I wonder why they haven't written?

Last week I had two days at Fairisle School. Next week, nothing much planned except an obstetrician visit and maybe the Isle of Wight with Middle Sis on Thursday.
Saturday, mum and I did aerobics and then went for a walk to Swaythling where we looked at a second hand pram for 40 pounds. Very cheap but we decided we needed to know more about them (prams) first. Got home just after dad who'd been on his first trip through the Channel Tunnel.

Saturday night we went out to dinner with a group of dad's students and others who were on the Keldish with dad. I spent that night dreaming about deep sea diving and submarines. The dinner served to remind me of how much I am missing young people. It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with Mum and Dad, on the contrary I love it, but I do feel the lack of a peer group. Maybe if I get to some antenatal classes I'll meet some people.

I miss everyone in Australian so much. I'd love to phone someone and just catch up on the school gossip but I don't like to run up Mum and Dad's phone bill.

Went swimming with Middle Sis last Tuesday. Hopefully going again this week. Trying to keep fit. I'm eating like a horse however.

I wonder when my boxes will arrive? And the parcel Bestie's posted.


Photo taken by my Middle Sis on the Isle of Wight.

NaBloPoMo 2:

Saturday 21st January 1995: Southampton, England.
(27 weeks pregnant)

Been a week of revolting weather, rain, hail- high winds.
Went to Winchester with Mum last Saturday and bought lots of lovely sheet music and some more maternity clothes. Still haven't got around to sewing the dress/skirt and leggings I cut out just after Christmas. Spent last two days sleeping and reading. Opened a bank account with Barclays.
Read 'There is No Armour' by Howard Spring- lovely book, very prosey but a beautiful eye for detail and drew a superb picture of Falmouth and Cornwall. Makes me want to own a small shack on a coast SOMEWHERE! Also made me think as this fellow's family dropped off all around him-that it is important to grow up with family and people who love you. Should I be taking my baby back to Australia? But who wants to live in miserable old Soton? (Southampton) The New Forest maybe!! Some seaside village perhaps- but give me Sydney as a city to live in anyday. Still, Summer and Spring here may be a different matter.

Lists of Names

Remy Madeline Arabella
Harriet Adelaide Honor
Eleanor Lucy
(ed note: none of these were chosen!)

I now feel very pregnant. It seems to only have been in the last month or so though. Prior to that I didn't feel very different. Now, not only is my waistline enormous, but I am subject to a constant barrage of movement, wind, indigestion and backache.

......
Dr's appointment went uneventfully. "Any swelling?" she asked.
"Only in the abdomen," I said.
Holding steady at 60kg. Fat woman.