Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Sunday, 25 May 2008

The Adventures of Morticia

Although this little cutie here is not our very own Morticia, I felt I needed an image to prepare you for the second story I have to share with you from my very long week. I do not have an image from the actual incident, although, when you have heard the story, you will realise just how precious a fly-on-the-wall image like that would have been!

As you can see from the picture here, cats have a fascination with running water. Morticia, who has been confined to one end of the house for the past two weeks as she acclimatises, has recently been allowed up the hall and into the bedrooms. Being quite little and very fast, she can make it from one end of the house to the other before you know where she is.

This then is what happened to Himself as he made his way to our ensuite to relieve himself on Friday night. He was unaware of the presence of a kitten in the bedroom. He was unaware as he positioned himself in front of the bowl that a pair of beady eyes observed him from behind. The first he knew of it was the acute alarm triggered by a small furry black object shooting up from between his ankles, launching herself at the 'water feature' and losing her balance on the rim of the toilet seat.

This alarm and the speed of the change in his circumstances is to blame for what happened next.
The cat teetered on the edge of the bowl and fell head first into the 'stream'. Himself, in shock and immediately protective of the 'about to drown' kitten, was unable to stop the flow but lurched forward in order to grab, and thus save, said kitten. In the process, he pee-ed on the cat, his hand, parts of the bathroom and ended up holding a wet and struggling kitten in one hand and sorting himself out with the other all accompanied by loud bellowing and extremely colourful language.

He stormed out of the bedroom holding the kitten at arm's length and thundered at the BA,
"Your cat has just jumped into the toilet!!!!!"
The BA clasped Morticia to her bosom and made soothing noises.
"Awww what have you been doing little kitty cat ...is the big man frightening you.....coochie coochie etc etc"
"And I hadn't FLUSHED!!!!!!!!"
This time it registered in the BA's brain and the poor kitten was now thrust away to arms length at light speed, accompanied by shrieking and 'pth pth pth' sounds!!

Morticia was duly washed and seems none the worse for her adventure although I suspect Himself is traumatised. He may have to sit down to pee for the rest of his life. At least then he can see what's coming!!

Despite all this he seems to be quite fond of her. She went missing for 5 minutes this afternoon and he was seen out on the balcony calling her with definite concern in his voice. She, of course, turned up, sitting neatly in the middle of the floor, from 'who knows where' as kittens often do after they've been asleep. He seemed very relieved to see her and before long she was sitting in pride of place on his office chair while he patted her indulgently.

We may make a cat lover out of him yet.

image credit


Brittany said...

OH MY!!!! That is SO gross!!!! What a little scamp, that Morticia is!

Cute story, however... makes for a good blog!

Maggie said...

Ha ha ha! That is HILARIOUS!

Kittens are quick little boogers, aren't they? I lost my cat twice when he was a kitten (it's hard to lose him now - he weighs almost 20 lbs/9 kilos). Once in a four inch space between the dishwasher and the wall, behind a piece of molding (how?!) and once underneath and up inside the recliner!

Anonymous said...

That is the funniest story!! Yes - to have been a fly on the wall for that incident....the fly would have wet his ownself from laughing so hard!

What a story that is...
The events following the story tell me you have already created a cat lover out of him....at least a Mortica lover!

: ) Elisa
Thanks for the giggle this evening!

Christina said...

Oh. My. Gosh. Funniest story EVER!

Allie said...

Wow! Sounds like every day is an adventure there;) Good luck to all in the bathroom.

Well, it's been a while since I posted, but I'm afraid ugliness invaded my life (explained on my blog, sort of.) But, I also have reason to celebrate as you will see. Glad to be back posting and surfing, and your kitty story has reminded me why I love your blog:)

Allie (big as the sky)

Ca$h McBuch said...

Large Men such as myself and Himself are suckers for little critters. Wait until Morticia hides in one of his shoes.
I hope it occurs before the other things kittens do in shoes.

melody is slurping life said...

LOL! Now I have an "image" of the incident in my head that will not go away. :o

BTW, thanks for your healing wishes. Many have asked, so I suppose I will have to tell the brief (stupid) story of my hand stitches.

Chris in Happy Valley said...

Love that story! I had a feeling that your guy would come around - I got the feeling that he was a softy under that gruff exterior.

Blueberry said...

ha ha ha! that is TOO funny!!! you sure do tell a great story!

Anonymous said...

Oh, that was hilarious! I can see now why there's no picture. :P I don't know who I feel worse for: Himself, kitty, or BA. I wonder if you would be thinking it so funny if YOU had been the one loving all over the pee soaked kitty?
That kind of reminds me of the old saying:
"If I don't see ya 'til it rains..." (the other implied half of the sentence is "Pee on ya")

ktjrdn said...

hahaha. I can totally picture this happening. (My cat fell into the bathtub the other day.) I'll have to warn Rob.