High Maintenance

What is it about families eh? Are they always high maintenance or is it just mine?

Exhibit a) Small Boy sulking over his sand castle.

We had a wonderful day on Carrickalinga Beach with SmokyJo and Big J, the BA, Small Boy and I. It was not quite as scorching as yesterday so temps on the beach were quite pleasant if a little windy.

We did the whole thing. Totem tennis, beach cricket, swimming and boogie boarding and finally, sandcastles. Don't ask me where it went wrong but somehow the SB decided he sucked at sandcastles and he wasn't helping me anymore but he was building his own and now he had the worst sandcastle on the beach and that just proved how badly he sucks........his powers of logic are convoluted to say the least.

He breaks my heart with his lack of self esteem. Everything is a competition and of course, when he is the youngest on the beach by anything up to 40 years he sets himself up for failure. Once he has failed he is clever enough to recognise empty praise when he hears it and can therefore not be comforted with platitudes. I have taken to saying "you're right...you do suck...happy now?" although I scarcely think this is helpful.

As if his fragile ego isn't enough I have the BA doing the whole "he's muscling in on MY auntie" thing! She has the good sense to know that her irritation is unwarranted and unhelpful but of course she can't help feeling what she feels.


Apart from the 'sandcastle sulk' which was brought to a head as we took pictures of the 'finished' products (left) and relieved by a sand throwing photo session (below), we had another incident involving my least favourite part of the beach experience, strong currents. And I don't mean dried fruit. (that would be an 'a')

The strong 'drawback' current known as a 'rip' here is the most dangerous aspect of swimming at sea....apart from the sharks.

The gang took off for the water with great enthusiasm and as I watched from the shore (I'm not a complete idiot...the temp was under 40C why get in the water?????) they seemed to be going a long way out. I kept calling for Small Boy on his boogie board to 'come back' and eventually Sis towed him onto an incoming wave and then finished up by towing him the best part of the way back into the shore. It was with much relief that I helped him catch a few inshore waves and then went back onto the beach when he'd had enough.

A good 5 minutes later the BA and Sis joined us and informed me that a rip had formed while they were out there and that they had had to swim quite hard to get back in.
"You were all worried about him," accused the BA,"but you didn't even watch to see if I got in safely!"

This was sort of true as I know the BA is a good swimmer and my Sis also swims 5km a week and has arms like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I had been fairly sure they knew what they were doing and was much more concerned about the Small Boy who lacks confidence in the water and especially the sea. I had been surprised that he'd gone so far out in the first place! I guess he just got carried along with the excitement of the group.

As it was I was very glad not to have known about the strong current until the girls got back in. I don't think they were in any immediate danger but it was a good lesson for the BA and gave her a sense of the strength of the sea and its changeability without seriously threatening her. I had a nasty experience on Bondi Beach once which has put me off going anywhere out of my depth in the sea without a life jacket.

Later that night, about 20 min after Small Boy had gone to bed, he appeared tearfully in the corridor and called for me. "I'm having bad thoughts," he whimpered, "I can't get to sleep." I didn't twig to begin with and asked whether the guests were making too much noise (we had people for dinner.....in a white wine sauce, delicious), whether he was worried he was missing out on something...then...in a blinding flash I asked whether he was thinking about having trouble getting back to the shore at the beach today........well the floodgates opened.

I hate the sea, I'm frightened of the sea, what if it happens again, I never want to go in the sea again............all this anxiety poured out. Put this against a background of an adored father who sails and loves the sea and you might get an inkling of why he was initially unwilling to disclose his fear and also, why he called for me. We ended up cuddling in his bed and I told him he didn't have to go back in the sea if he didn't want to. Look at me after all. I never go in above my waist :-) Finally, to help him get to sleep we gave his bad thoughts to Rawson the wonder rabbit, who threw them out the window with a great deal of puffing and panting. Then I listed all the nice things he could think about before, on request, getting daddy.

I suppose I could have been hurt after all my comforting and hard work (after all, I was missing out on the dinner party!) to have been thrown over for daddy but actually it felt pretty right. After all, daddy is real and I am just step and also, it was like he was ready to confide in daddy now without fear of 'letting him down' or seomthing. I don't know. It just felt right.

I gave daddy a brief run down of what had happened and the important direction not to force the issue of going back in the sea tonight. It seemed to go well as he was asleep 5 minutes later.

So, I ask again, are ALL families this high maintenance? Or is it just mine :-D Sometimes I'd like to move into a motel and leave them all to it but then again...............