In Which Year 8 Fail To Grasp the Concept of a Test.

I am so OVER Year 8!

Today we had our usual nightmarish last two lessons of the day Maths class. (no one should ever timetable Maths for the last two lessons of ANY day). We like to play cards on Tuesday afternoons because really, we're not up to too much else! Today we had a topic test before playing cards. The deal was simple, finish the test and then we play cards.

Now, with this group I make a practice of explaining the questions as they are the bottom 10% or the year group and several have learning difficulties. Thus if a question says;
Plot and label these coordinates on the same set of axes.....
I will usually be asked, "What does that mean?"
(and yes, of course we've done it before in class......)

So I will say;
"What are axes?"
"Those graphy, liney things with numbers"
"Good. Draw them first. Now, show me the coordinates."
(vague pointing at the sets of points eg (4,-5)...)
"Well done, how do we read those sets of coordinates?"
"Along the corridor and up the stairs."
"Fantastic, so you know which axis you read first. Now what does it mean to plot the coordinates?..."
And so it goes on........

My reasoning behind this labour intensive strategy is that at least I get to see what the kids actually DO know. Often, they are so stumped by the wording of a question ("What does evaluate mean??? I don't know what evaluate 6+4 means!!!") they will not attempt something I believe they can do. If I take away the language barrier to the problem, I hope that they will demonstrate their mathematical knowledge for me.

Today this got past a joke.

Sometimes with these kids I feel I am dealing with leeches or some kind of parasite which sucks and sucks until it kills the host. As you extend a helping hand, they pull on it so hard the arm comes out of its socket. They fail to see the assistance they receive as a blessing and look on it instead as a right which they all demand in ever increasing quantities. At least one girl had the grace to say laughingly, "Why can't you just do the test for us Miss?" which just about summed the situation up.

After a reasonable start they began putting their hands up and as I was helping one, the others started chatting amongst themselves!
Me: Hang on, this is a test, what is all this chatting about?
Them: We're waiting for you to help us!
Me: But you don't talk in a test. What could you do if you don't understand a question?
Them: Wait for you?
Me: NO, move on to the next question. Ask yourself, what does this question want me to do? Try and think of questions we've done like this in class.
Them: (blank looks) But we need help!!!!

At one point, one of the more obnoxious girls, who had received help and then immediately put her hand up again, said when challenged:
"But I'm waiting for you! I really want to pass this test and you won't tell me what to do!!!!"

At that point I 'spat the dummy' and told them there would be no more 'help' and they could work on for the last 5 minutes alone and in silence!!! I was met with calls of 'unfair' and at least one child who kept coming up to my desk for directions even after I had repeated that I was not giving any more HELP. (*pant, pant, pant*)

Need I remind you folks that this is a TEST!!!!!!???????????

Suffice to say the results of said test would be about as reliable 'evidence of learning', as a 2 year old's estimate of the amount of money in a jar full of 10c pieces!!!!!! (Do you have that kind of competition where you are?)

I am now off to further my journey towards slashing my wrists, by marking the accursed things.

Wish me luck.