Feed A Cold: Sort out a Challenging Class

Yed. I hab a cold and I'b not habby.

That is why I'm up at this ridiculous hour of the night/morning reading blogs and feeling sorry for myself. Well, actually, not that sorry, mostly hungry......just a moment.............

Mmmm, that's better.....cashews.
Anyway, where was I? oh yes, up in the middle of the night.

I have been keeping this cold at bay for about 3 days now and Thursday night it all came to a head. Literally. MY head. Maybe because I knew Friday was a seminar and I wouldn't have to be holding it all together for the classroom? In fact, had I not been booked into the seminar I would have stayed at home and in truth it would have been kinder to the 100 or so other people I probably breathed on although I did try and sit by myself and not network too much.

The seminar was entitled 'Cracking the Hard Class' and the presenter was Bill Rogers. The man is a legend. I bought his book, 'You Know the Fair Rule', years ago when I first started teaching and lent it to my brother-in-law when he retrained as a primary teacher (in fact I think he's still got it!!). As a Learning Support teacher my classes are composed of many disenfranchised learners and generally dysfunctional kids and having moved from primary to secondary teaching (I am STILL not sure how that happened) I have had my work cut out for me in maintaining my idea of a productive working environment. I say 'my' idea because I have become aware of a general 'chill out, let em go' mentality amongst secondary teachers. I understand it of course. It's survival. At the end of lesson 7/8 History with Year 9 (13-14 year olds) I am physically exhausted!!!!! Holding on too tight eventually saps your health and confidence and I can see why many teachers lower their expectations in favour of sanity.

So the noise levels are a little high. So 20% of them aren't actually on task. So the smart arse in the third row (who is actually incredibly bright) keeps butting in with an inappropriate joke. No one is actually climbing the walls and after all 'kids will be kids'.

Well, I've never been comfortable with that. I know, I know, I'm a control freak but I've been in classes where the atmosphere is relaxed, the teacher doesn't have to raise his voice and 98% of the kids are working productively. That's the classroom I want.

Although I know my classes are not a disaster (well, there is the occasional disaster) I also know I have a reputation for being strict and that I am exhausted a lot of the time. To keep tabs on things I make 26 teenage boys (well 23, there are 3 girls in the class) file past me at hometime to make sure they have filled in their diaries. I mark endlessly and give feedback so they know they are accountable. I plan for three levels of activity to ensure everyone has something to go on with and no-one can whinge: 'I don't know what to do' (of course they still do....). In short, I work really hard to keep the kids on a leash and if I relax for a moment they take off like a bolting horse. With hormone issues. And a pair of scissors.

With that background I attended Bill's seminar. Full of cold and mindful of 'keeping it to myself' I made for the front row where no-one ever sits, thus assuring I would not breathe on too many people. Of course I was also late and they were the only seats that were left but that's another post....

Well, I have never laughed so much at something that wasn't a stand-up routine. If you ever have a chance to watch his DVDs or see him in action I highly recommend it. In fact I think he has an alternate career in 'stand-up comedy' if the education work dries up, which, judging by the full auditorium, is not likely. His impersonations of 'Nicky, Callum, Jacqui and Scott' were hysterical. His impersonations of the ineffectual teacher were also hysterical although somewhat conscience-pricking from time to time.

He gave us the full gamut from
"Oh, please class, would you please be quiet" ( in pleading apologetic tones with hands on hips)to
"If you don't all shut up you will be dealing with me and then you won't know what's hit you!!!"
(with accusing finger outstretched and the aspect of a publican about to climb the bar to forcibly eject you).

I know which end of the spectrum I lean towards.

His main message was that of conveying 'confident calmness'. Address issues, don't just 'accept that kids are like that', address issues but do it in a calm, assertive manner. At the same time he would then break into the 'subtitle' which is going on in your head as you are addressing things 'calmly'. I think this is the thing which makes him great. He doesn't pretend that we don't want to say those things. He doesn't make you feel inadequate with his mastery of his own demeanour. He isn't the perfect teacher we need to aspire to emulating. He thinks and feels all the frustrations, irritation and outrage that we do. He just doesn't say it to the kids.

I bought his book of course. And got him to sign it! I just hope I can implement some of what he advocates when I have five lessons of the same Year 9 History class, that some sadistic bastard timetabled for me, on a Monday. With all the Special Ed kids in it. And the clown in row three with the 95% grade average.