Life Would Be Perfect if......

I have been ranting on about seeing SmokyJo so much that I left some people thinking that all the family was together here in Aus at the moment. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Here is the rest of my family! Guess which one is my sibling? hahahahahahah

We were really lucky back in 2003 to have this arm of my family visit in its entirety. Nephew was only 8months old at the time, Niece was maybe 4? She had been struck with a nasty cough which plagued her all the way on the plane and kept her awake for nights after she arrived. The kids did not cope well with the jetlag and overall the visit was hard work for the poor parents.

To top it off it was the wettest winter on record in SA that year, something we haven't seen since, and I was working which meant they were constantly looking for things to do with the kids....indoors. Now the UK and perhaps the US are geared for this but Aus is not. I fear it was an ill remembered holiday and, unfortunately, now that my Nephew has to have his own seat, the cost of transporting everyone out here would be astronomical. It will be up to us to get back and see them in the future, or at least until my BIL becomes a Headmaster of a well to do independent school :-D!!

But my point is, we are missing them. Although we have most of us here together, the absence of our youngest sibling and her treasured family is keenly felt. I think sometimes we exclaim so much about the fun we're having that they may feel we have forgotten them.

WELL WE HAVEN'T!!!!!!!!!! :-D

We love you guys and if we could wave a magic wand and disapperate (yes, I am reading Harry Potter) you all here tomorrow, without jetlag....*sigh*

Let's hope we can make inroads into some savings for a Xmas trip to the UK in 2008!! Although if the airconditioner keeps requiring work and the patio keeps sliding away from the pool at its current rate....................anyone know a good landscape engineer???????

Dinner with My Sis and Bro-in-Law

Here they are!!!! They are here!!

We have had a lovely few days so far. It has been STINKING hot and of course my air conditioning is out (did I mention that? :-D) They have been to the beach and the city centre. They have had a swim in our pool. Tonight we went to Glenelg for dinner.
The Baby Angel wore one of her new dresses from Christmas although this was not without angst.

"Mum. I don't think it suits me, I look fat in it."
Mum *thinks*: If by 'fat' you mean gorgeous or jailbait then ....
" Sorry darling? Fat? I think not."
"Well, I don't know (thinks)...maybe its too...too....plain! That's it! I feel like I want to write a slogan on the front!"

Having established that T-shirt transfers were not going to appear magically at 7pm before we went out I suggested another outfit. Ever the sensitive one she was determined to wear her new dress so as not to disappoint the giver. (ie Father Christmas) We decided to 'break it up' with a belt and lots of necklaces.

I am having so much trouble with the appropriateness of her dress of late. The thing is she is such a baby really. She skips up the street dressed like this and jumps on Grandad's back. She hangs off my arm and pseudo disco dances to unheard music. She wants to look lovely and Lord knows she does and I think if she were walking along with a pouty face and fluttering her eyelashes left right and centre, perhaps I would object more strongly. As it is she is blissfully unaware of how gorgeous she is.

Should I be wrapping her in a neck to knee and protecting her from prying eyes? Perhaps as I see her awareness growing I will caution her as to the 'effect' her dress choices may have. Certainly, recently I have put my foot down over the appropriateness of outfits such as skimpy stretch sports shorts and bare midriffs when on our way out to netball. School events, occurring as they do in a fairly fundamental community, always demand a more discreet code of dress....

It is a tough one. Tonight it was stinking hot and no one wanted clothes on their shoulders or legs particularly. We are talking the kind of heat where there is sweat running down the back of your legs in a restaurant. I think she is beautiful and she was out with her family so all was well. I may have to rethink what is acceptable when she starts going out with her friends on her own but hopefully we are looking at another 18 months before we have to deal with that. Fortunately, as a rule, she is happy to go anywhere in shorts or jeans and a T shirt.

Meanwhile, it is SO great having SmokyJo and Big J here. I wish they lived here. They are such good company. The BA has been appreciating having her family here enormously. She sees differences in the way we do things as opposed to the way Himself and his family approach things. These differences are exacerbated by Himself's absence.
"Mum, it is really nice for it just to be 'us' again for a while," she says.

And while I am missing my lovely husband, I am also relishing the ability to make family decisions from a position of mutual understanding. There is no having to pussyfoot around politeness or make allowances for different ways of doing things. There's no having to explain the behaviour of teenage boys to those unused to the phenomenon or assure people they are not intruding on us as we ask them to share a meal. *sigh*

We are in an unusual position in that we are recently married (2 years) and my family lives 12 000 miles away. They do not get to experience us on a daily basis and they did not know Himself before we married. Himself's family are less cohesive and his parents are both gone now. This is my parent's third trip if you include the one where we got married so everything is a little 'new' still.

I am thoroughly enjoying this 'holiday time' with my family. Small Boy will not be back with us for a few days so I do not have the usual crowd of local 'lads' in and out of my back door. BA is self sufficient enough to entertain herself with her new things and I have some serious reading to do!! I am three quarters of the way through the final Harry Potter and I have at least 3 more Christmas novels to attack after that!!! It is such luxury as I never get to read during term time.

My non-crafty BA surprised me yesterday by cutting out a huge no of pix from magazines and creating a collage on the back of her bedroom door.! Who would have thought? She is full of surprises!

Have a great week everybody.

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Me and Mam on the Glenelg foreshore after dinner. Captions invited!

A Delayed Shopping Trip

"I've explained to the Small Boy how boys shop," my husband informed me just before Christmas. "We sit outside first and decide what we want, then we go in, go straight to the places we need and get what we want."

Uh-huh. There are a few gaping holes in this plan and I, being the loving wife I am was quick to point them out to Himself.


a) You will not necessarily get the best price by this method, nor even the best quality item.
b) What if the shop doesn't have it.
c) (and this is a bit of a girly one I have to admit) what if what you THINK you want isn't what
you want when you get in there and see the fabulous array of choices available???

Huh??
Huh???

But even this is insufficient explanation. You see darling husband, shopping is an interaction.

Today my mother and I went on the shopping trip I have been wanting to go on since she arrived. I had toyed briefly with the idea of doing this with her on my birthday until I realised I'd told her it was ok to go out to lunch with some of her old friends. Today we caught up on the missed experience.

There are many things which made this trip different from the frenzied buying sprees of the week before Christmas where she certainly accompanied me, and I her. For instance, there were just the two of us. We didn't really have a time limit. We had one or two small jobs to do but no grand mission.

Shopping is interaction dear husband. For example, today my mother and I learned what size we both now take. As a result of this we discussed exercise. We also discussed her experiences with a masseur and the benefits thereof!

We remembered that we had different tastes in things and that was ok! We agreed that the majority of current , disposable fashion looks like it is made out of dishcloths! We talked about her new cleaner (as a result of dishcloths) and I learned how she had found her and how Mum's back gives her so much trouble now that her cleaner comes mainly to push the vacuum cleaner which is too heavy for Mum.

During lunch we laughed over the poor quality of the 'wrap' she ordered and discussed our relative weight gains and need for healthy eating. As a result of that we started to talk about Himself's weight and health. As a result of that we started to talk about wills, estates and how our respective children would fare 'when the time comes'. What arrangements had we both made? What is the best way to make them? Who will be OK? Who will struggle? What would happen if Baby Angel was left on her own.....all tricky questions, essential for discussion and all difficult to 'bring up' artificially. They just come up naturally over lunch in the Mall.

In watching the interactions of parents and children we compared notes on parenting. She told me where she thought she went wrong. I told her how wonderful the years were I spent with her when I was a new mother. From there we discussed friends and their children and how they were all doing.

We went searching for a pair of earrings for me and got earrings and a necklace for her. We switched the subject of the search to a new silver cross for me and touched on matters of theology and faith as a result.

I drove her home although she insisted she could catch a bus (41C.....I think NOT) thus reinforcing her worth to me. I would not let her pay for petrol, establishing again my independence, adult status and desire to bless her by simply taking her home. We discussed the statement 'allow me to bless you' afterwards. More faith and theology.

We both agreed we had had a wonderful expedition. We had found out more about each other. We had underlined and reinforced important aspects of our relationship and got a couple of nice purchases as a a reminder of our trip.

Are there men who see shopping in this light? Is it a gender thing or a personality thing? Are we foolish in suggesting our men are missing out on something when they do not embrace the 'shopping trip'? Are there other ways men do this or is it simply that my beloved is one of a group who do not desire the underlining, reinforcing and even defining of relationships?

*sigh* I would appreciate any enlightenment you blokes can extend.
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NB: Picture above shows Mum and I on Christmas Day (just before I collapsed into bed AGAIN) with her new shears.

"How the &$#@ am I supposed to get THESE in a suitcase to go home????"
(I patiently showed her the removable handles. Just don't put em in your hand luggage Ma)

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Sports Update: Bad day on the waves but it was a strategic move. This will improve their handicap! Also a delightful friend (who is winning) will give them some rigging tips tomorrow!!

Adelaide News

Finally the weather widget is getting it right! It says 36C and 'fair'. This must be some strange, new meaning of the word 'fair' with which I am unfamiliar!! It is HOT! And no air conditioner still!

That was the weather report.

In other News: The arrival of SmokyJo and her husband Big J has caused excitement and emotion in the Flaming Sword household today. Elder sister Arizaphale was seen sobbing before anyone even emerged from the Arrivals gate. Rumour has it she was thinking of the opening credits of 'Love Actually'. Niece, Baby Angel, was heard to say "I never realised how much you looked like your sister Mum."

And now for the Sports.

Joker IV skippered by Himself and crewed by No2 Son came 11th in their first race today!!!
This out of a field of 27 'hotshots'. The best they did in the 2006 Nationals was 27th!!!! That was in a field of 45 boats.

And there was much celebration.

Christmas Wrap-Up

And ultimately, this is what it is all reduced to. No, no, no, I refuse to be cynical!

There are all the piles of lovely loot to be considered; and smiling faces; and sizzling turkey; and damage to our paving stones as my DIY hating husband attempts to construct the freestanding basketball backboard which comes flat packed and with the exhortation that you will need two capable adults to erect said implement of parental torture. (Do you know how loud a basketball bouncing on pavers just outside your kitchen window can be??)

So are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Let's start with Christmas Eve.
First, the traditional 'write a letter to Santa and put it with your stocking before going to bed' ritual. Here we have the BA, (casual teenage pose), and Small Boy (with the haircut from hell...what was his mother thinking???) posing with their respective letters and stockings. The letters are worth a closer look. Or not. Should have used a macro setting.





Anyway, Small Boy virtually put himself to bed with eagerness. Prayers were specifically requested for the ability to get to sleep quickly. As usual, he was out within minutes of us leaving the room. How does he do that??? The BA lies awake for ages!!

Next, Himself stayed home whilst Grandma, BA and I went to Midnight Service (very pretty, all done in half light and candles so snoozing was totally possible) and then home to bed around
1 am. Some of you may know I foolishly stayed up blogging and fuming over my husband's Bah Humbug nature but also chatting with No2 son who is always up at 3 in the morning as he does not work (spoken through gritted teeth). The net result was that I did not get to bed until after 4am and with a sizeable helping of champagne under my belt.

Fast forward 3 hours. We are awakened by a gentle knocking on the door. Small Boy greets us with "It's after 7 on the clock, just like you said!!!" And we were up and running.

First job is the reading of letters from Santa. Father Christmas as you know, reads each child's letter and replies individually with references to the child's growth, increased helping round the house powers, achievements through the year and other messages of pride. These letters are kept, along with the child's original letter, in a special Santa file for bringing out on important occasions such as weddings and 21st birthdays. (My dad actually did this to my sister!!)

Last year, the BA's first 'reality' Christmas, she resisted writing the letter. It was quite sad actually. There was a real resentment of the years of belief and the let-down, I guess. Anyway, I can't remember what I said to her, maybe that I wrote Santa letters until I was 18, but she wrote the most remarkable and heartfelt letter of all time and included a CD with instructions to read the letter whilst listening to a particular track. It was 'Hallelujah'.

This year she was full of 'nudge nudge wink wink' and wrote a happy if brief letter. I think she quite enjoyed Small Boy's excitement. He had written that he hoped Santa had had a 'flabbergasting year'. Santa replied by saying 'thank you for the wonderful letter...I am flabbergasted!!!!' Small Boy was delighted.

Next, the orgy of present discovery. And unwrapping.Followed by the ritual of father attempting to put together new presents. (BA's dad laughed when he heard about this over the phone! He sympathised with Himself but assured him that all over Australia, fathers were doing exactly the same thing and using similar expletives!!)

We did a bit of interim kitchen work at this stage as we waited for the older boys to a) arrive and b) wake up which they eventually did. In the next phase of present opening (these are now all the under the tree presents) the BA discovered her present from her Dad. A new Canon A550 PAS. Curses. She was over the moon. The big boys were pleased with their customary presents of socks and boxers (thank you step mother... father never thinks of these things) and No2 was over the moon as he received new sailing items for the upcoming trip to the National Competition (they left the next day).

When Mum and Dad arrived, we were into the unwrapping AGAIN!!!!!!! Small Boy was, as is often the case, obsessed with the $2.00 present Grandma had bought as a stocking stuffer (as if these kids didn't have bulimic stockings as it was!). The BA shot this footage on her new camera.




So, all in all, our family did exceptionally well for Christmas. The big boys were particularly pleased by Grandma's clever choice of T Shirts with slogans. (The one on the left was taken by the BA and says 'ask me how I tolerate stupid questions.' It is just about the most perfect T Shirt for No2 Son...ever!!!)

But as the preparations for lunch moved into full swing, my late night began to catch up with me. Actually, it reeeeeaally began to catch up. At one point I felt like I was going to keel over. I dashed off for a 'power nap' which I was sure would sort me out. After a 20 min snooze I dragged myself to the table and toyed with my food, feeling quite ill. After lunch we farewelled the big boys over to their other Grandma's and I went back to bed. I was beginning to ache in every joint and feel hot and cold in rapid succession.


Three hours later I emerged, mainly because I knew Mum and Dad were still there and because it was Christmas after all and I was missing it. I was still aching and had that nasty buzzy feeling all over like there are ants crawling just under your skin. After farewelling Mum and Dad and suggesting no one came near me, I collapsed on the sofa and took my temperature. It was 39C

Now there are many theories as to why I contracted a nasty, fevery virus on Christmas Day. I think it was just bad luck and after all , No 2 Son had had it during the week. Popular opinion however is that all my 'burning the candle at both ends' had finally caught up with me and the opportunistic virus had attacked my exhausted immune system with glee.

'That will teach you', seemed to be the message from all and sundry. *sigh*

Just to be safe however, I slept on the sofa to ensure that Himself would not contract the bug as he was leaving the next morning for an 8 hour drive to Melbourne and sailing glory (hem hem).
I think I woke up at around 3am with a sense that the fever had broken but feeling like I had been run over by a truck.

Boxing Day saw me farewelling Himself and No2 Son (crew) at 7am for their 9 day trip. The last time they went to the Nationals, I went with them but as my sister and Brother-in-Law arrive on Friday from the UK, I elected to stay home this time. The rest of Boxing day was spent in and out of bed. Mostly in. I got to read a lot of my new Harry Potter book and the BA brought me a peanut butter sandwich surrounded by strawberries when my appetite started to return mid afternoon.

Mum and Dad came up at 4.30pm and played scrabble with BA until I woke up at 7pm when Mum made us all dinner. (Thank you Mum you are an angel) By this time I was ravenous and well on the way to full recovery. The BA and I hit the sack at 10pm and I slept through until 8am. Today I feel pretty much fully recovered but mother is exhorting (there's that word again) me to 'take it easy'. I am inclined to oblige.

Twas the Night Before Christmas.....

Melody left a comment about tracking Santa on Norad and I just had to check it out.

Well, I got completely confused. Why has Santa passed us by already???? Then I realised Du-oh...it is after 2am here, Santa 'visited' 2 hours ago! Silly me was thinking he had yet to visit cos there were no presents in stockings yet!!!!!

So why am I up stuffing stockings at 2am? Well, we always go to Midnight service at Church and don't go in the morning. By the time I'd taken Mum home and got the BA yawning into bed...it was already 1am and we still had to eat the mince pie and carrot!

The good news is that the boys ARE coming for lunch. There was a mis-understanding between brothers and a lack of communication. I feel quite sheepish about my earlier rant.

On the other hand, Himself I have a LONG way to go in terms of nutting out this whole Christmas business. Part of the problem lies in the different traditions inherent in a blended family, the rest lies in his gut wrenching hatred of shopping. I suggested that he tell me what he wants and I will get it. He can't even bear talking about it! I suspect also that he doesn't 'trust' me to buy for 'da boyz'. I don't think I am cool enough. After all I've mostly bought for girls.

Nevertheless it is really irritating when he tells you he's bought a dvd for the BA and then won't tell me which one he's bought. "It's a surprise." Well, it will be a bloody silly surprise if I've ALSO bought her the dvd!!!!!!!!!!! He does not get it.

Anyhoo, I had better finish. As you can see we had a baking day today. The BA did Christmas cookies for gifts (yet to be iced) and I did a fruitcake which I cut into quarters to make into 4 mini cakes as presents. Also still to be iced. Oh....there's always tomorrow!!! :-D Here's the BA with her finished cookies.

She's wearing the warpaint of a baker...self raising flour!!!

Now this is ridiculous. I must get the last presents finished and get off to bed. I'm afraid my writing does not match up with my pictures but it is too late to be worrying about that now!!!

".....but I heard him exclaim
'ere he drove out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all and
To all a goodnight!!!"

Christmas SEETHE

That's IT. Next year I am boycotting Himself's side of the family at Christmas and that INCLUDES Himself!!!!!

It is 4.30pm on Christmas Eve and out two older sons have just informed me that they won't be having Christmas lunch here with us after all. They're going to Nan's. (Mother's mother).

Himself has just arrived back from Christmas shopping which he hates and which he refuses to discuss with me before hand because he doesn't want to think about it so he does it on the most hectic day of the Season when he KNOWS he hates the Mall and the crowds even on the best of days and THEN he comes home and storms around like a T-Rex with a sore head (bear doesn't do it justice) and is unpleasant and shouts out about hating Christmas and not doing it next year.

gggggrrrrrrr

FINE> Next year, the BA and I will go and spend Christmas with MY family who LOVE Christmas and not have our day spoiled by these heathen, self centred lot!!!!!

(I am just as cross with the boys NAN for not letting us know or telling the boys earlier or or or.....I am JUST cross!!!!!!!)