Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.
Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

I Had Always Suspected There was A Connection

Heard tonight on SVU

" The victim was beaten so badly in the crotch that his scrotum ruptured and he suffered lacerations to the penis."

"So where is he now?"

"Oh. He's in a medically induced coma to take the pressure off his brain."

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

You Teach Your Daughters



This is my Dad.

He is awesome.











Not only is he world renowned in his field but he also co-wrote this book.
















He built this pergola.

















He recently won this trophy!
(Novice Bowls Champ)



















He may be assisting the passage of
these people to Australia in January.





















And tonight he sent us THIS!













For those of you who missed it, we were avid followers of 'Battle of the Choirs' this year in Australia. Dad's DVD (recorded no doubt off his new fancy schmancy DVD recorder) shows us the last two episodes of the UK version of the same, 'Last Choir Standing'.

Well, we loved it.

The Baby Angel and I sat and watched it tonight (probably both had other things to do but hey...) and did the whole smiling, clapping, crying thing! Thank you, thank you, thank you Dad. You sure know what we like!!!!!!!

By the way. Who were your pick Mum and Dad? I think, once again, that song choice played a huge part. I mean how can you compare 'Ain't No Stoppin Us Now' to Carmina Burana??????
I also thought it was appropriate that there were two Welsh choirs in the final. Prove me wrong people, but I don't think there's a country in the world that can go past Wales for choral singing!

Thanks so much beloved and dearly missed Dad. You gave us such a lovely night together. With all the London/Wales shots the BA looked over and said "This is making me miss England Mum!"

I know just what you mean BA.

One thing I did notice was the quality of the advertised programs before and afterwards!!!
BOY I miss UK TV!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Of Viruses and The Best Medicine

So thanks a LOT faithful readers! Where were you with your sage advice when I wanted to know how to get rid of Antispycheck??? Hey??? Hey???? Nowhere to be seen was the answer!!!!!!!!!!
So tonight I have spent 3 hours and $50.00 trying to get rid of the accursed thing, only to run a perfectly free system restore for NOTHING which fixed the problem. Sheesh, How naive can you get? Himself was telling me that the people who wrote the $50.00 software (available by download from a pctools site near you) which totally failed to remove the malaware, were probably the same people who wrote the nasty trojan!!!!! As he said; if even 1% of a million virus recipients bought the software they'd be laughing!!

I like to think more kindly of people. OK so the $50.00 software didn't remove my trojan but it did pick up 256 other spyware programs ;-D. Thanks Software Doctor, wherever you are because of course since I did a system restore I have lost the newly installed program!! Don't panic Mum, I have a plan. I will email them and tell them the situation then reload the program for free. I mean, people are basically decent, right????????

So what else has been happening. Oh yes, that's right. Tonight at the Bestie's place we watched the (taped) final episode of Australia's Got Talent with the 'best of the best' that Australia has to offer. Bwahahah. These included (don't ask me why) a spoon player, a 6 year old saccharine sweet baby dancer called Mietta, a 16 year old 'opera' singer who squeaked out the high notes and, most importantly, a taekwondo 'ensemble'.

When 'Hall's Taekwondo' first won their heat, in traditional garb, in what amounted to line dancing with attitude, many were bemused. When they won their semi final heat, there had been some significant reassessing of the possibilities and a much more showy, dare I say egocentric, form had emerged. Put simply, I think Mr Hall was the guy in the middle.

As the Bestie and I watched this particular semi-final I remember remarking that it seemed to be a case of 'Mr Hall and His Bitches', with said egomaniac kicking, punching and wood chopping his way into a stupor. The rest of the gang were reduced to 'sidekicks', circling on the sidelines and presenting blocks of balsa wood (sorry, I'm such a cynic) to various parts of the 'Jackie Chan wannabe's' anatomy, for breaking purposes.
But to everyone's amazement, they somehow made it into the finals!

Last night as the hip hop style music built breathlessly to the opening and we steeled ourselves for another bout of wood smashing and so on....I said to the Bestie, oh yes, this is 'Mr Look At Me' and his minions.
"Ah" she replied, "Just wait and see..."

It transpired that Mr "Look At Me" must have been in need of another 'trick' since he had used all the others up the first time around, and so he graciously allowed one of his bitches to carry a massive flaming dumbell into the centre of the stage....and juggle it...................................almost.

Unfortunately 30secs into this blazing spectacle the hapless pupil dropped his dumbell.
"That's it!" shrieked the Bestie, "That's the last time I'm letting one of you bitches in the middle! There can be no failure here at Hall's Taekwondo!!!!!! Go and spend an hour on the punishment stool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The fit of hysterics which ensued at this concept had the Baby Angel and I crying, snorting and literally rolling on the floor with.....no.....laughter would be the wrong word........I don't even know if there IS a word for the kind of laughter which renders you unable to breath, make a sound or prevent other normally automatic bodily functions from, well, functioning. The sort of laughter which, sitting here typing this, is still lurking just below the surface of my Thursday morning. Excuse me while I go and compose myself.

Watch the whole thing while you're waiting.

Actually, don't wait...I've got to go to school....what am I thinking?????