I wish it was as simple now.
She lacks direction. She lacks confidence. She is searching. Rejection is everywhere.
She desperately needs a break, for someone to take a chance on her; for I KNOW she will not disappoint.
But in the meantime I have to watch her pain.
Her withdrawal.
Feel her taking out her frustrations on me.
And all that's ok if it turns out in the end.
And I am sure it will.
At least I'm pretty sure.
Yes, I am sure. It's in my gut.
As surely as I knew it was better to pick her up than to leave her crying, despite what experts said.
Parenting is a shit hard gig eh?
I don't think it gets easier until you are like my mother; searching through her memories to identify the people all around her.
At least she's not wondering whether she should pick them up.
