Baby showers, baby at the store, baby clothes at the mall, random baby pictures. I think it happens a lot for me because in the back of mind I think there is still time. But I really do love that the girls are at a wonderful stage, very independent. And I have a friend who has a two month old and she's had to put a lot on hold these days. I'm happy where I am.
I cry thinking about babies, reading about other peoples babies, the yearning for my own baby. So, yeah...I understand crying when you get home from the shower. Who am I kidding? I cry on the way out of the door FROM the shower, all the way home and then hide in my room to finish my good cry!
Truly, I've done a pretty good job avoiding baby showers lately. They just hurt a little too bad.
I know how you feel, I recently posted about deciding not to have any more kids. I guess it's at this point in my life that the hard core reminiscing starts, ugh.
We ARE on the computer at the same time... CREEPY ;) tee hee. Thanks for all of your well wishes! SO far apart... yet I feel like you're right here with me! Thanks for the prayers!
I just turned 37 on Tuesday. You know already that I have a 19 year old and that I had her at 17 (soon after turned 18)...my point is I spent so much of her growing up years NOT wanting another baby because obviously the first one was so unplanned...I needed to grow up, focus on my life, learn how to be a good mother, etc. When she turned 4, she started wanting a sybling. We got her a cat. :) Years later, it turned into 5 cats, still no more children. Somewhere along the line, when I started wanting another baby, I could not have any. Go figure. So, yes. I tear up often at the thought of babies...kind of like hipmomma...I have always thought there was time. I do not believe that anymore. I know those years are up for me. Beacuse of the job that I have, mothering other people's children as a teacher, I am exhausted. I have become satisfied with life as it is...the daughter so much on her own, but still needing me too, husband and myself work-a-holics, and not to mention the 5 cats...there is no room in our lives for a baby honestly. But even typing these words makes me tear up. I always wanted a boy; my husband always wanted a house filled with kids...and I secretly wanted to announce a pregnancy that EVERYONE in my life would celebrate instantly and not have to get used to it or feel disappointed about! I am not really sure why we never adopted or looked into infertility treatments...I just thought if God wanted me to have another baby, He would let me. I am on the pill for the first time in 15 years, and we used no other birth control during that time. If I was meant to have another baby, I would have one. I have decided that I am ok with this. We have such a happy life.
Then, there are times like now when the mothering urge is so strong, the tears are so fresh, and a tiny part of my heart still aches...
12 comments:
Nope, I just get pregnant again. HA. I'm glad there's been no recent baby showers... hmmm
Nope. I'm still at the rejoicing stage (No more diapers!!!). I'm sure I'll get there someday though
Baby showers, baby at the store, baby clothes at the mall, random baby pictures. I think it happens a lot for me because in the back of mind I think there is still time. But I really do love that the girls are at a wonderful stage, very independent. And I have a friend who has a two month old and she's had to put a lot on hold these days. I'm happy where I am.
well, no... but that is because i do have a baby!
i'm sure one day that will happen though.
:)
Yeah - a little bit! I always loved the newborn baby stage...lots of snuggles and cuddles....
Elisa
I cry thinking about babies, reading about other peoples babies, the yearning for my own baby. So, yeah...I understand crying when you get home from the shower. Who am I kidding? I cry on the way out of the door FROM the shower, all the way home and then hide in my room to finish my good cry!
Truly, I've done a pretty good job avoiding baby showers lately. They just hurt a little too bad.
I know how you feel, I recently posted about deciding not to have any more kids. I guess it's at this point in my life that the hard core reminiscing starts, ugh.
Do That To Me One More Time, Then Again Don't
I feel that way and my baby is only one...I guess that means I want more!
Sometimes I miss that baby stage but - I had my 2 nieces this past weekend and one is 5 months old and it was enough of a fix for me - lol!
You could always borrow Zach for a week?
We ARE on the computer at the same time... CREEPY ;) tee hee. Thanks for all of your well wishes! SO far apart... yet I feel like you're right here with me! Thanks for the prayers!
I just turned 37 on Tuesday. You know already that I have a 19 year old and that I had her at 17 (soon after turned 18)...my point is I spent so much of her growing up years NOT wanting another baby because obviously the first one was so unplanned...I needed to grow up, focus on my life, learn how to be a good mother, etc. When she turned 4, she started wanting a sybling. We got her a cat. :) Years later, it turned into 5 cats, still no more children. Somewhere along the line, when I started wanting another baby, I could not have any. Go figure. So, yes. I tear up often at the thought of babies...kind of like hipmomma...I have always thought there was time. I do not believe that anymore. I know those years are up for me. Beacuse of the job that I have, mothering other people's children as a teacher, I am exhausted. I have become satisfied with life as it is...the daughter so much on her own, but still needing me too, husband and myself work-a-holics, and not to mention the 5 cats...there is no room in our lives for a baby honestly. But even typing these words makes me tear up. I always wanted a boy; my husband always wanted a house filled with kids...and I secretly wanted to announce a pregnancy that EVERYONE in my life would celebrate instantly and not have to get used to it or feel disappointed about! I am not really sure why we never adopted or looked into infertility treatments...I just thought if God wanted me to have another baby, He would let me. I am on the pill for the first time in 15 years, and we used no other birth control during that time. If I was meant to have another baby, I would have one. I have decided that I am ok with this. We have such a happy life.
Then, there are times like now when the mothering urge is so strong, the tears are so fresh, and a tiny part of my heart still aches...
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