Monday Check-In

Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hottity HOT!

This is ridiculous, it's meant to be Autumn!!!! I can not begin to describe the heat. It has been relentless. Fortunately the aged cooler is working although, as it hasn't been switched off for the last 4 days, goodness knows whether it will survive the onslaught!

At 3.30pm this afternoon it was, once more, 40C on one of those roadside thermometers. I will tell you how hot that is; when I was hanging out the washing on Saturday, the first articles were dry on the line by the time I was hanging the last ones out! The grass crunches when you walk on it.

So what have we been doing to escape the heat?

Well, work has been taking up significant portions of my time. I have spent this weekend with all my maths resources spread over the family room floor whilst I sorted them into topics. Last week I struggled with fractions and Year 9 as well as the Year 10 'house project' and the lead up to the athletics carnival. (which I sincerely hope will be cancelled due to extreme weather conditions!!!)

Last weekend we had a visit from the Baby Angel's Sydney grandparents who stayed with my Mum and Dad and had a bit of a look around dear old Adelaide. They came to dinner at our place last Sunday (gone) and Himself did one of his magnificent roasts and all agreed that he was a 'jolly d' husband and stepfather and that their granddaughter was in fine hands. Even more notably, my ex father-in-law kissed me goodbye on Thursday night and said, "Congratulations. You're doing a fine job of raising that girl." My throat goes all tight even now thinking of it. High praise indeed. Makes it all worthwhile.

The most recent 'Flaming Sword' battles I have had were with myself. The BA's Old Friend rang a few weekends ago to ask if she could go for a sleepover (fine) and then on to the Shopping Mall the next day. Now I am not altogether enamoured of this teenage habit of congregating at shopping malls so I started to ask questions. Why are you going to the mall? Who's going to be there? How long will you be there? Do you have any money??

Imagine my shock when, in a conversation with the other mother, it transpired that BA's friend now has a BOYRIEND who is 15!!!! and that he would be accompanying them to the Mall. I don't know which bit shocked me more, the fact that the little girl I knew had a 15 year old boyfriend, or that her mother was ok with her going to the Mall with him!!!!! I think the mum sensed my discomfort because she started explaining how the kids were very sensible and she would pick them up and drop them off etc and they were going to the pictures.....

I didn't know what to say or think. I just knew it felt wrong. When we discussed it a bit more we finally realised that the BA's friend, although looking younger than the BA will in fact be 14 in March wheras the BA will not be 13 until May. This kind of age difference has mattered little up til now and will matter little in another 10 years time but right now it is thrown into sharp relief by the differing levels of freedom and responsibility they have.

"What do you think will happen?" asked the Mum as we mulled around the arrangements and I explained how uneasy I was.
"It's not that I think anything will happen," I struggled with the nagging unease,"It's just that...well she's only 12!!!" The nagging doubt started to solidify to concrete concern as I explored my feelings.
"You see, the Mall is a meeting place and I don't know the kids that hang out there. I don't know their parents, I don't know their attitudes and values and I don't know how they are going to treat my daughter. Well, I have a fair idea actually and I am not sure I am ready to expose her to that sort of stuff."

The thing is she looks older than 12....but she isn't! Teenage boys don't see that she's a baby, they see a prospect! And I don't feel that she's equipped yet to deal with that. Also, she was going to be wandering about with Old Friend and a 15 year old boy. There was a certain 'spare wheel' element that I thought may also be unnecessary for her to experience at this stage. Especially if they were going to the pictures!!! (Yes, I AM getting old)

Anyway, I decided to discuss it with her before I made a decision. I wanted to explain my concerns and hear her point of view. Amazingly, she was pretty receptive and expressed a certain reluctance to be a part of the outing herself! She was visibly disturbed by the fact that her long time friend had such an 'old' boyfriend and was also concern at wandering aimlessly around the shopping centre whilst the other two canoodled or held hands or whatever they did!!!!

The compromise was that she could go to the mall and see a movie and that I would meet her in the foyer afterwards to take her home. Himself thought I was being very 'over the top' in my protectiveness.

As it turned out, the other Mum rang me from the drop off to tell me which movie they were seeing and to let me know that two other boys were joining them after the movie.

TWO OTHER BOYS????????? THAT was not mentioned in the original plan!!!
TWO other boys????? All the more reason for me to meet up with them after the movie!!!!

When I turned up, with Small Boy in tow, it was a quite relieved BA who came to meet me. The movie had been ok (Jumper) but the other boys had turned up FOR the movie, not AFTER and had talked all the way through. (at least it was just talk!) They leapt into my line of vision to be 'introduced' and one rolled his little fedora hat down to his elbow and back up onto his head again as he greeted me. Good grief. Exactly the kind of inappropriate boys I would have been attracted to 30 years ago. We were outta there!!!!

Except that we weren't. I kept my cool and when there was discussion of lunch I told the BA that Small Boy and I needed to eat too and we would 'come with them'. Before you snort at my inappropriate over protectiveness may I just point out that I fully intended (and did) sit several tables away and pretend not to know them. Interestingly, the BA wanted to sit with me although as Small Boy was more than happy to discourage her in order to have my full attention, she eventually did go and sit with 'the gang'.

After lunch the girls came over and it seemed that the BA was ready to 'come home'. We actually did a little shopping first and got the Small Boy a haircut before we went home but she seemed happy to be back with us and held my hand as we browsed the DVD racks :-)
"You know mum," she eventually ventured," After (other Mum) left, the boys said...'so are we really going to this movie or are we just going to hang in the Mall?' I told them that my Mum was pretty unhappy about me coming here anyway so we better just see the movie."
I was so proud of her. Later that night as I put her to bed she said "Mum, I felt so young today."
"That my love, is exactly how you should feel and thank God for it!!!!"

Of course if she reads this now, I am dead. Nevertheless, I felt vindicated in my concerns and strengthened in my resolve to maintain the guard and reach of my Flaming Sword for that little while longer.

Another test came this weekend when she wanted to go 'shopping' with two other friends..again to the Mall. This time Grandma and I went with them and met up with them from time to time. They bought sombreros and purple fishnet stockings, giggled like loons and ate huge ice creams. All perfectly age appropriate activities. I think next time I might be able to leave the premises for an hour. Well, maybe the time after that.....



I've got no best shots this week. The heat has sapped me of all creativity.......



image credits