Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Monday, 1 February 2010

We Will Honour Yet The School We Know

I have been feeling very guilty about my lack of blog posting. I know we are supposed to be 'blogging guilt free' and supposedly I am more productively using time which would otherwise be spent blogging, but it truth, it doesn't sit well and I can't quite pinpoint why. Maybe I don't feel like sharing at the moment? Or is it that I have just lost interest in life? Like, nothing's worth blogging about?

And yet, of course , it is.

Like this last week for instance. Surely I couldn't let the start of the BA's time at my Alma Mater go unmarked? I dutifully took photos as she waited nervously in the kitchen for Grandma and Grandad to pick her up and take her down for her first day. She had been in to an Orientation on the previous day; but that was in casual clothes, the only other students being other newbies and consisted mainly of a lesson in how to use the school's IT network. Thursday was the big day and she posed patiently for photos, her lovely smile masking that deep, overwhelming dread you get as you stand on the end of the jetty and look down into the murky, seaweedy depths below, knowing that the push in the small of your back is but seconds away.

She shed a few tears before I left that morning. She shed a lot more that afternoon in my office after school when, as I rushed down the stairs from a meeting to gather her up and ask her the inevitable questions, the relief and loneliness poured out of her.

It was a fine day. She had been given a buddy who was very nice and whose group of friends were very welcoming. She had people to sit with at lunchtime. The lessons were fine. She had endured the first of hundreds of assemblies in our old Hall, where my Bestie's name gleams dully down from the dark, aged wood of the Honour Roll; where dust motes are caught in the light, streaming from the huge, rear lead light window.

But it was all a bit overwhelming. My Baby Angel has been a central player in a close knit group of very social friends for a long time now. Her old school was smaller and has less history; it has no 'Great Hall' as she calls it: it does not have the ghost of her teenage mother lurking in its hallowed corridors. For the first time in a long time she was completely alone in an unfamiliar environment. And she smiled at everyone the whole day. No wonder the tears flowed when the pressure cooker lid lifted.

I was supposed to be going up to our Year 12 camp that night. 2010's Year 12s are a group I have known for 3 years and I have taught many of them. I was going up for the 'Red Faces' Concert, usually an hilarious occasion, but the BA hugged me desperately and begged me not to go so of course I cancelled immediately and we spent a bit of time twined together on the couch that night.

The next morning there were more tears and an inability to eat breakfast so I promised to pick her up after school, as she finishes after we do. I dropped everything at 3.03pm and with the anticipation of a mother, awaited her arrival at the school gate.

She waltzed out about 15 minutes late, all smiles, announcing that she thinks she might like to do 'Drama Studio' this year!

So in a quick answer to all of your very thoughtful inquiries......she's doing OK!! So far......

This morning it was back to feeling sick and shedding a few tears. Dearest Grandad was so concerned about her that he stopped enroute so they could both have a coffee together. Unfortunately she doesn't drink coffee yet! Tonight when I picked her up again she was fine; and tonight we have been learning French irregular verbs on flash cards!!!!

Already we are seeing value for our $$$$$$$$$$$$


headbang8 said...

The ghost of mom will be forgotten as new spirits dance through the halls.

Now, when she goes to law school, that will be a different matter.

Jessie said...

Oh man, that has to be so hard! For you and her! I'm glad she's adjusting so well, and you're such a good mom to make her your first priority! I seriously dread the teenage years and all that the hard life lessons they bring... Can I come to you for advice and comfort in a few years? You seem to have this thing under control!

Stacy said...

I'm sure she will make new friends and get the hang of it all soon. It is such a hard thing to start anew anywhere. Even for us adults! It is nice to have a safe haven for her to come home to at the end of the day. I'm sure in a few weeks she will find her center there. :)

Mid Sis said...

How'd she get away with that eye make-up?????? I spent much of my time there in the Secretary's office baby oiling off my make-up!! Ah the hallowed hall the scroll of which - incidentally - YOU - should have had your name on - oh the injustice of it all.....xxx

HipMomma said...

She's gonna do fabulously. I can tell that you've taught her well and she will carry those lessons with her. What a fantastic adventure for her!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Awww! I told you we've been going through something sort of similar here. My gal found out she's distant cousins with a family from her new school, so I think she's been feeling a little better about the whole thing. I hope that smile keeps up and that she settles in soon.

Andi said...

Oh, what a sweet account of something so hard to do...reading this made MY stomach kind of queasy and I wanted to tear up for her! It is the single hardest thing to do when you have to get re-established...she is so brave and looks just adorable in her uniform! You are the perfect mom for spending that time with her on the couch rather than doing your school duty. That's how it should be...she comes first. What a lovely beginning. I know she'll do just fine!
By the way, you should not feel guilty about not blogging as much. You have a life to live...a very important one! But, I do thank you for sharing this with us. Please send BA my love and best wishes for a wonderful school year. And good luck with the drama...yeah!

natalie said...

Oh, how you brought back those memories!!!

I'm so proud of the BA for sticking with it! She is such a trooper. You've raised such a great kid!

Arizaphale said...

Thanks everyone. And Yes! Middle Sis! I agree about the eye makeup! I hadn't realised how dark it was until I looked at these photos. This morning's effort was much more subdued and natural. I know I wore brown mascara to school but gee...I have red eyelashes, it would be unreasonable cruelty to force me to go to school un- mascaraed up. You on the other hand favoured the thick black stuff as I recall, which just BEGGED to be taken off in the office :-D

Amy Jo said...

Oh, BA. You're a trooper. Hang in there, mom and daughter!

carrie said...

Oh, I'm so glad that the end of the story has a happy note to it...I think she is going to do just fine!

Good luck, you TWO!