Eight Hours In Labour And This Is the Thanks I Get

There was a time when I could make a dress for myself off a pattern and it would mostly fit. Admittedly I would have to chop 6 inches off the bottom due to my limited height, but mostly I was of extremely average proportions.

Those days have gone.

My front has expanded, my back, above the waist, has not. Ergo I am a 16 in the front and a 14 in the back. And do I have a charming, helpful offspring to help me pin myself into an ill fitting pattern?

No I do NOT.

I have a cantankerous little cow who is far too obsessed with her own search for a job, and the high life, to give her mother more than five minutes, with the worst grace in the world, to pin up the back zip opening.

It is time to invest in a dressmaker's dummy. But where will it live? These things take up space!

But wait! I have an idea. There is always THIS room!!!!!!

Surely it's time someone moved OUT!!!!!???????