Saturday, 29 January 2011
CRIMEWATCH: Anyone With Information Contact This Website
Lily the Leer, The Black Widow, Pippin 'One Tooth'
Attention: Anyone in the vicinity of the Baby Angel's room on the afternoon of 27th January 2011.
It is believed that one of these shady characters is responsible for that most foul of all feline crimes: the infamous runny poo deposited dead centre of the quiltcover!!!!!!!
On re-entering her bedchamber at approximately 6pm on the night in question, Miss Baby Angel, fresh from her recent holiday in Sydney and excitedly anticipating the 'new' room created for her by her loving mother, was greeted by the tell tale stench of 'kitty motion'. The offending material was quickly spotted lying, obviously with intent, in the centre of the bed.
The above suspects all have means and opportunity although which one has motive is open to investigation.
FACT: Lily the Leer was present during the rearranging of the room and was seen behaving in an agitated manner, climbing onto all surfaces and nervously sniffing the new layout.
FACT: Pippin aka 'One Tooth' is the principal feline occupant of said bedroom, preferring it over any other, and has prior 'form' having been 'caught in the act' by Himself on our arrival at the new house some 6 years ago.
Question: should the laws of evidence apply here and should Pippin's previous record be struck from the transcript and the jury asked to disregard it?
And what of The Black Widow? A notorious murine assassin and launderer of bodies. Was this a diversion on her part to distract us from her murderous nocturnal activities and the ostentatious 'Ripper' like display of her victims in public places?
Anyone with information is encouraged to call CrimeWatch on 1300 POO. A reward is offered as I have it on good authority that the victim is suffering a sense of humour failure over the whole incident and her Mater has not recovered from the containment exercise *gag gag*
Thank you for your kind attention.