Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Yesterday In Year 9 Maths Class...........

There's a single stifled giggle from across the classroom, which quickly becomes less stifled and is rapidly joined by others. I glance up from the co-ordinate geometry I am explaining in time to see several red faced pupils, a couple of desks over, looking my way and choking back guffaws.

They are too far away to be the actual source of this hysteria so my super-fast, patented teacher eyes flick down at the speed of an eyelash to take in the 'usual suspect' perched innocently on his chair, right next to me. At about the level of my butt.

Now, had this little angel been bent forward, intent on his probability revision, he would be nowhere near my butt.........but........

"What's going on Luke (not his real name)," I enquire sweetly; voice laced with honeyed venom.
His long lashed, wide eyed mock innocent baby blues look brazenly up into mine. This kid is going for the Oscar.
"Why nothing, Mrs A! I'm just doing my maths."

The stifled mirth around me cracks the dam wall and spills over into fully fledged belly laughs.

This is not good.

As any teacher knows, when you are up against it like this, it is best to work with the humour. Think fast; what has probably been happening? My bent over posture would mean he was pretty close to my butt. Was he making gestures? Sticking something on it? No I would have felt that. Gestures maybe..... I take a chance.

Straightening up I glance down at my rear end and then fix him with a death adder smile.

"Well, Luke, all I can say is I'm glad someone is still interested in my arse after all
these years

His beetroot red flush was gratifying to behold.

The deafening roar of laughter from the rest of his classmates was the icing on the cake.

Who said teaching secondary doesn't have its moments?

Post-Script: Some judicious questioning of his mates, later, leads me to believe that what he was actually doing was taking photos of my butt with his mobile phone! Well, whatever floats your boat I guess!!!


natalie said...

Oh, ye holder of the flaming sword. You are ENTIRELY too smart for me! I love your humor. I would never have been so quick!

There is a little boy in 1st grade this year (6 years old). His teacher was bent over the student in front of him (with her behind near him, I gather). When she stood up, he sighed and said, "I'm sure glad you didn't fart just then." Hilarious story to retell, but she found NO humor in it at all!

Arizaphale said...

Oh dear. No humour is professional suicide in secondary school!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Wow! I'm impressed with your quick thinking!!!!!!!! (not to mention amused - very funny!!!!)

Kevin C Jones said...

My maths teachers were all male, but my French teacher was very female and very Suzette Gaulois.

Elisa said...

Your response was hilarious!!!! So quick witted and so absolutely funny!

I can only imagine how loud the room got after that!!! :)