Children learn what they live.........

Late, late, late and have just finished setting an English exam but I must share this example of a mother who has completely 'lost the sword'.

In my Geography class I have a boisterous character called CJ. He could so easily be one of those 'likeable rogues' who deftly avoids work with humour and has procrastination and scene stealing down to a fine art- but for one thing. CJ refuses to take responsibility for his actions.

If CJ has been calling out incessantly across the room, with humorous intent, for just that little bit too long and he is asked to 'move' seats or step outside, the resultant stream of 'its' not fairs' and 'everyone picks on me' are impressive to behold.

If CJ has failed to hand up yet another round of homework, classwork or major assignments- he had a funeral in Italy to attend.

If CJ has a lunchtime session to complete work which he has failed to hand up, he arrives with no books, pens or visible means of support and proceeds to wax lyrical as to why he was unable to find them in his locker/bag/bedroom or how he lent them to someone/left them somewhere or completed them and then fed them to the dog (well maybe not the dog bit...but he did pull the Italian funeral one!!!).

When given the opportunity to reduce his after school detention to a lunchtime walking with me on duty he initially agreed wholeheartedly, until he discovered that this meant being out there for a whole 20 minutes!!! How outrageously unfair! Lunchtime detentions are usually only 5 minutes (yeah because the teachers usually want to go and get their lunch). Bear in mind that the after school detention would have been for 40 minutes! He squealed bitterly about the injustice of it all for the entire 20 minutes.

After a semester of this and after requesting a parent interview at mid term (no response), I finally rang Mum yesterday. Guess what she said?

Perhaps he's finding the work difficult. Is it happening after lunch? Perhaps he's tired. Who is he sitting next to? There are two boys he went to primary school with who sometimes get him into trouble. Is he next to them? Does he understand what he has to do? I've never had any trouble with him before.

She did pull up a bit short when I mentioned his Italian funeral (I had actually thought it might be true) but other than that.........the search for excuses was extensive.

I wonder where he gets it from?

Thank you to all those other parents who pick up their flaming sword when they receive a call from school. What a difference it makes when pupils know that their parents value the school and the teacher's efforts. If my daughter asks me for a note in her diary to excuse her for not finishing homework, I say 'no'. How else will she learn to prioritise her time if she does not experience the consequences of attempting to do homework whilst on MSN?

Parents do not do their children any favours by constantly making excuses for them. CJ has learned that it can never be his fault, because after all, Mum says so!