I mentioned
a while ago, that one of the reasons I blog less frequently is because the
objects of my blogging are now painfully aware of my reporting about them here.
Needless to say most of the interesting things in life are met with,
"And DON'T put this up on your blog mum!"
The BA herself has found some interesting ways around the whole social media thing though.
Once upon a time, she was threatened that if she blocked me on facebook, she would have her internet privileges removed. As a result we are still 'friends' and I still have access to her timeline and those of her friends, but one cannot help notice that they are posting there less and less.
Of course! duh-oh!....they have created a group page, to which parents are NOT privy! They also use other new media sites like tumblr and formspring (which are probably out of date now as I mention them) and move on to the next faddy e-meeting place as quickly as al Qaeda moves base camps. The only up side to this is that they are so involved with themselves, their secret internet meeting sites and their latest shade of lipstick (sorry, did I say that out loud??) that they don't bother checking back in on mother's blog too often. Which is a good thing as I have felt rather gagged of late, when there has been so much to write about.
One of the things I was
not allowed to mention when it happened, was the break up of The BA and her first boyfriend. I always knew things like this must be hard for a loving parent to endure, but the reality was as sharp as a knife. She crawled back into my bed like a 4 year old. She cried with wracking sobs that tore at my very soul. She described every little crack in her heart to me....
I like to think I handled it well on the outside, that I was of
some comfort, but who knows. At least it was a clear cut case of the young man behaving badly (sheesh...I am so polite here).
He had always intended to go off on a backpacking trip around Asia in his gap year (2012). The farewell at the airport was teary on both sides, and in the first week he face-timed her constantly, giving her a 360 degree laptop view of his surroundings every time they made contact. And then the communication stopped.
He and the BA had been as thick as thieves for two weeks shy of a year when he messaged her on facebook to suggest that they probably couldn't maintain this relationship at a distance. She showed me the message and collapsed into my arms. I encouraged her to find out what had changed. Perhaps he was miffed that she hadn't contacted him? (she had deliberately stopped when his responses became lacklustre). A flurry of messages later and it was clear that he simply wanted his cake and eat it too. In fact, he already HAD eaten it, although of course, as he protested, it didn't
mean anything. Oh and additionally, perhaps she was no longer the right cake for him (when there was such a bakery on offer where he was...)
He spent some time rationalising about how different it was to be 'away' and 'travelling', how things just '
happened' and would probably '
happen' again! How this was perfectly natural and those poor souls stuck back in Adelaide would not really understand. She may have bought his load of crock too, except that he made one fatal mistake: he suggested that they might just 'get back together' when he returned home!!!
Fortunately, the BA was surrounded by people who value her and who snorted loudly when they heard his 'suggestion'. She stuck to her guns, didn't see him on his return and has now moved on.
(In a slightly sniggery footnote, I can report that on his return he begged to see her and, when she finally capitulated, was shocked by the depth of his own remaining feelings for her. After a couple of 'chummy' outings, he decided he couldn't see her again until he had 'got over her'. Well, duuuuh young fellow!)
In the meantime, she met Army Boy.
The BA has flown back and forwards from Adelaide to Sydney in her holidays for years. I have become very adept at
seeing her off at the airport and at picking her up, draped in new clothes and gifts, after her holidays with her dad. In September 2012 she emerged through the flight gate accompanied by quite a nice looking young man! Surely dad had gone a bit far this time???? But seriously, she had been seated next to him on the plane and they had got chatting. As they emerged together, I could hear them swapping phone numbers. She introduced him to me (after a prompt from
him I might add) and they agreed to catch up. The following weekend he took her out on a date: lunch at a nice restaurant in the Hills, bowling
and a movie!! Like a real 'traditional' date! He left saying he had to dash off to
church!!!
This was sounding more and more promising!
Since then, Army Boy has become a fixture and after some coy dancing around the 'nature' of their relationship
(BA: Mum! I have just had my heart broken, do you think I am going to get into a serious relationship again so soon?
Me: But, you only see each other don't you?
BA: Yes
Me: and you don't
want to see anyone else do you?
BA: (emphatically) No!
Me; And he doesnt want to see anyone else does he?
BA: (even more emphatically) NO
Me: Then, regardless of what you want to call it ....... he's your boyfriend!
BA: Oh Mum, you wouldn't understand!!!!!!)
have indeed become an 'item'.
Which is sad because he's just been deployed to Afghanistan. He leaves next Tuesday. I predict tears and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make it better for her :-(
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