I knew it was happening. Hell, I'd spent the weekend packing boxes and hefting large items of furniture into the garage.
But all the same, he moved out today.
Coming home from work, the house is bare bones furnished with attendant dust bunnies and spider webs festooned across hitherto unseen wall spaces. The desolation of an imprint on the carpet, stark, dust clogged, indelible. Something has been taken from this place.
I have been here before. I have been here by choice and by circumstance. I have hefted and lugged before; I have planned, rationalised and adapted. I am a survivor. I am a survivor through Grace.
But that was then and this is today. All those experiences do not lessen the grief of this one. Do not lessen the feeling of isolation. Do not salve the burn of failure, the grief of loss. The visceral excision of a part of my life which, although flawed, had been stable.
I really thought this one would work.
5 comments:
Big (((hugs))). Not sure I can say anything that will make you feel better, but know that my thoughts and prayers are with you through it. You are a strong lady and will make it through the other side.
I am so sorry, Arizona. This too shall pass. I'll be thinking about you.
On the other side of every dark treacherous mountain is a spectacular breathtaking view! (hugs) LS
It's a process and you have to go through it to get to the other side. Be comforted by the fact that there is NOTHING you left undone to make it work - for far too long in my opinion as you know. The Devil you Know is never better. I applaud your courage and insight and it will pay off in the end. It's just a crap process... :-(
I am sorry that I had not come to this realization based on any FB posts. I had some suspicion and I've been in such a cloud of my own crap I hadn't clued completely in. Life is such a roller coaster and even through the highs and lows we always make it through. Sending you loads of support and love my friend.
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