Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Blonde Is The New Lobotomy

My Baby Angel is a blonde. If I was ever in doubt, incidents like this make it crystal clear.

We have been battling for 6 years now with one of those inferior rangehoods which only recirculate the air. This causes problems every time Himself decides to cook a steak or a sausage which fills the kitchen and then, by virtue of the recirculating action, the whole house, with blue smoke. One of the things on our "Inheritance To Do List" is to put a flue into the kitchen so that the smoke is vented to the atmosphere (as they say in the trade).

So, there I was at the appliance shop last Saturday, checking out all the range hoods.
Turns out there is quite a variety to choose from.

There's your 'full on' open plan style exposed flue,

your under cupboard hood,

and the retractable slimline version

which puts most of the 'workings', ie that square box thing on top here,

up into the cupboard above.

After some discussion with the salesman, I realised I was not entirely sure what kind of hood we actually have and whether it could be flued easily or would require a whole new unit with removal of cupboards, tiling, the whole ensuing 'kitchen renovation catastrophe'.

No problem in this age of technology. I called home and got the BA.
"BA, could you do me a favour and have a look in the cupboard above the range hood for me."
"The what? "
"The rangehood, the thing that (purportedly) sucks air out from over the cooktop!"
"From over the what?"
(For Pete's sake)
"THE HOB..the GAS BURNERS....the..."
"Alright, alright, I get you.....(rustling and general movement).......ok.....what am I looking for?"
"Can you tell me if the guts of the thing, the workings, are up in the cupboard?"
"Is there like a box up in the cupboard, above the rangehood?"
"RIGHT! Like containing the workings, the motor...."
"OK. Now, can you see if..."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.....do you mean this box?"
"What? (highly confused now)"
"Well, there's a box here....."
"But it says :Sizzle Stone Table Top Grill"
I may have to kill her.


Maggie said...

Ha ha ha ha! I think we all have our moments -- I have said similar things myself...but that doesn't make this any less entertaining! Too funny!

Arizaphale said...

She's priceless!! :-)

Brittany said...

Ohhhhhhhhh that made me actually laugh out loud. LOVE it! :)

carrie said...

holy crap. i might have just peed my pants a little. i love it because my family LOVED to tell blonde jokes and direct them straight to me...love you sweet BA.

Elisa said...


That is hilarious!

Arizaphale said...

But so sad.....I am NOT making this up!!!!!!!!! :-D Ah well..she still cracks me :-D

Mid Sis said...

I deplore the "blonde" insinuations having lived with you all those years and bearing the brunt of them - I may just remind you and some of your fellow bloggers about some of your "redhead" moments.....x

Arizaphale said...

Oh come on. Blonde jokes were not even invented when we were trading insults! :-)

Mid Sis said...

No, you're right, I was inventing "hollow" jokes eg.circa 1974 Big Sis: "we need to test if the watermelon is hollow before we buy it - so we need something to compare a hollow sound to - hmm let's think" - Mid Sis "try your head" bwahahahahahahahhahahahah

Arizaphale said...

Hm. I suspect we were testing to see if it was ripe but yes, touche :-D

Mid Sis said...

Yes, hollow sound = ripe, according to our Mother's instruction.....

Kevin C said...

I really don't get the joke.

Arizaphale said...

Oh KCJ.....are you sure you aren't blonde too??