After posting last night I realised that I had totally missed Valentines Day; which is not unusual in our house. My husband does not really 'do' anniversaries. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just that he doesn't see the point. When we were first married I made an effort to make anniversaries and Valentine's Day, special. I bought cards, real and virtual; I left gifts; I made special dinners.
After two years of being greeted by a gentle, bemused gratitude, I decided not to knock myself out. Not surprisingly he didn't even notice. He will wax lyrical on how the whole affair is a plot by the greeting card, florist and chocolate companies to prey on the insecurities of the average couple. If I bother to remind him.
We have discussed this on occasion. I am not overly devastated. Himself gives me a pretty fair smattering of 'words of affirmation', 'acts of service' and 'physical touch'. I'm pretty secure in the fact that I am loved. After 'acts of service' I probably lean more towards the 'gifts and surprises' than he does but they are usually pretty practical gifts and there is a Venn Diagram crossover between 'gifts' and 'acts of service' when buying the gift means you have relieved him of the torment of visiting the shopping mall. For any reason:
Me: Look! I bought you a 20kg tub of chlorine for the pool!
But, just occasionally, when others parade their red roses, romantic cards and surprise date nights about on Valentine's Day, I feel a little wan.
So, when I find that my husband has placed two rose buds from the garden in a hand painted bottle by my bed, on Valentine's Day, I feel strangely touched.
They didn't stay buds for long but that is exactly as it should be.