Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Running Out Of Girl Germs

Isn't it funny how you never think you'll get to this stage in life. I mean, why do we think that? What's the alternative? Premature demise I guess, but we never think of that when we are smugly examining our cellulite free thighs in the mirror at 25.

Living a long, happy life actually includes aging whether we realise it or not in our frivolous youth. We regarded our mother's paunchy stomachs with pity. We assumed that if we exercised, stayed healthy and made use of all the latest age defying cosmetics, we would somehow avoid the decline that comes, not slow and steady like the tide, but in a series of shuddering jerks; rather like watching mud or sand break off a river bank through the action of water. As the years proceed, we watch pieces of our former selves fall away into the abyss, never to be regained.

There's the chunk of us that is our comfortable weight. For years I was 53kg...and I mean years! After I had the Baby Angel in 1995, I was quickly back to 53kg albeit looking a little gaunt and wan. At 40 I was suddenly a stable 58kg. As another decade approaches I wallow in 64kg misery. I feel like I am wearing a sumo suit.

As the oestrogen leaves the building, there is the decline in skin tone. At 40 I bemoaned my deep sun damaged lines; now I observe with horror the crepey skin of my neck and the sag of jowls at my jawline.

There is the desperate 6 weekly visit to the hairdresser to cover the ever more obvious grey at the roots.

How did I get to this place?

But the physical changes that dog us are only one side of the cruel hormone depletion joke. There is also the change in your brain. Things which would normally cause us to sigh in exasperation or laugh indulgently now spark an inferno of rage; minor concerns become 'wake at night' worries; a workload which has until now been an enjoyable challenge becomes a ball and chain like drudge.
And it is here that I find myself, four months shy of 50 and on the girly scrap heap.

Not a pleasant sensation.

I hope you will all cut me some slack; although slack seems to be the 'word of the day' at the moment where my body is concerned.
What sadistic asshole put this campaign together? Like they thought we would appreciate a picture of a 25 year old doing menopause her way??? ie NOT doing it!!!!!!!



susiej said...

So poetic... I was following the demise of a woman's youth, relating all too well. And then, bam, 1a svelte 25-year-old having menopause! Please.

Oscar Zed said...

All mildly processed soy products contain natural oestrogen. So switch yourself to soy milk and get your girl germs half back.
Just don't try to convert your family...

Anonymous said...

Stick with it "My Baby Girl" it will get better!!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh my gosh - I hadn't heard of the inferno of rage! Uh oh. I'm in trouble. I have enough trouble staying on an even keel as it is.

I'm happy to hear about the every six week hair dying thing. I was actually afraid it would be MORE often, and I'm also not very good about getting to the hair dressers. At all.

Yeah that ad...goodness gravies.

Arizaphale said...

Thanks Ma

Oscar Zed said...

I saw Bob Katter on the television machine. Now HE has hormonal problems!!

Arizaphale said...

OZ: hahahahah

Elisa said...

Oh dear!!!!!

Hang in there!

I think I've had some baby hot flashes (we call them flashes) - is that possible. Not the extreme Inferno Girl type stuff but just all of a sudden thinking, "It's pretty warm in here." And of course if I day say it, I am met wtih, "are you nuts? It's perfect in here." Uh oh....

Arizaphale said...

Elisa: You can tell when they're hot flashes because you feel like you're blushing. A LOT! You might be ok for a while longer.....