An Aversion To Laziness In The Use of the Expletive

I have to confess I am not adverse to using the 'f' bomb from time to time. Nothing like Himself of course, for whom it is as natural as breathing; I put it down to his background in the creative arts.

I am famously remembered by my parents for using it as I dressed for my first wedding. Well, there were waaaay too many flowers on that headpiece! It looked like I had an effing garden on my head! Anyway, my point is that I use it to effect, rather like an exclamation point (and yes, Headbang, I know that if I continue with that analogy I shall be digging myself ever deeper into an expletive grave.......) I will also admit that my need for exclamation and effect could be said to increase exponentially according to the amount of wine I have consumed but that is neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is that I object to hearing it all the time on national radio!

The occurrence of the 'f' bomb in contemporary song has increased past the point of having any point at all. Once the territory of angst ridden rappers who had obviously seen 'Platoon' too many times.......(dialogue: mumble mumble motherf****** mumble Gooks mumble mumble mother f****** Gooks), this pre-Elizabethan curse has moved inexorably from; the purposefully dropped expletive or descriptor; to an occasional, casual adjective or adverb; to the title of the song and main chorus lyric! Lily Allen started it with her supersweet message to George Bush "F You"and more recently Cee-Lo Green has given us a cheerful, soul version of the verbal 'finger'!

Really! (spoken with rolled eyes)

Given my own predilection for the word, I am somewhat confused as to why these songs bother me so much, but bother me they do. I find myself murmuring "Huh! Charming!" in schoolmarmly tones, to the obvious amusement of the BA. I have tried to pinpoint the source of my irritation and after much soul searching I have decided it comes down to one thing. Laziness.

I mean! In my day we were clever and amusing in our use of the word! Witness the crowd at an Angels concert spontaneously bursting into an improvised echo chorus at the query 'Am I ever gonna to see your face again?' ( No way, get f*****, f*** off!). Now you see, that is iconic.

But more than that, we could be smutty, angst ridden or suggestive with nary a mention of the 'f' word.

Here are some of my favourite examples:

Bette Midler does Long John Blues (one of my party pieces).

Patti Smith spews forth the horrors of working class America in Piss Factory (alright..she did say piss...but at least it wasn't an 'f' factory, although come to think of it that might have been appropriate)

The B52s do Love Shack: the BA and I heard this in the car the other morning right after one of the previously mentioned modern offensive songs. I looked at her and said "You know, there is no doubt that this song is about a place where people get down and dirty and yet there is not one explicit word in the entire piece. That's its genius." And she agreed. Because she is a good daughter.

Looking back, one does not have to think too hard about the nuances of the expression 'rock and roll' to be quite clear as to its meaning. Even in the safe, middle class genre of musical theatre people like Cole Porter gave us 'innocent, carefree' lyrics like these:

I'd like to stop for my baby tonight,
And blow my top with my baby tonight.
I'd like to stop for my baby tonight,
And blow my top with my baby tonight,
But I'd be a flop with baby tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.

("It's Too Darn Hot" from 'Kiss Me Kate': 1949)

No prizes for guessing what HE was talking about!



In my day (and before) there was currency in vaguely disguising the intent of your lyric; this is obviously no longer the case. And guess what? I think it is reflective of the inability of the Baby Boomers to wield their Flaming Swords!!

Your kids don't care what they say folks. They're happy to put the 'f' bomb into the title of a song cos they're pretty damn sure you ain't gonna do a thing about it. Oh you might roll your eyes and say 'In MY day' and write blog posts and even change the radio station from time to time but at the end of the day you'll shrug and say "Ah well, there's nothing we can do. The world is changing."

What a load of lazy b******* you all are.

No wonder the Y Generation are the way they are !

(That faint pop you heard was the sound of me, gently removing my tongue from my cheek)

image credit 1

image credit 2

In Which I Totally Fail As A Youngster

A few nights ago the Baby Angel wanted me to book tickets online for a band we are going to see in October. Now I am not familiar with the band and in fact wasn't all that keen to see them but it's the BA's friend's birthdy and it was all she wanted for her birthday and I am such a soft hearted mum.

Aaaaanyway, I went online and typed in the name of the band with other keywords such as concert/gig/Adelaide.......nothing.

I typed it in words. I typed it with digits instead of words for the numbers. I typed a combination of both. Still nothing.

In desperation I called the BA.
"I can't find this b***** band anywhere BA! Is there some weird way to spell it? Come and see what I'm doing wrong."
"Show me what you've tried Mum."

303

three oh three

three 0 three

3 oh 3

"Oh der Mum" she exclaimed as she typed it in for me

3oh!3

..........................................I have no words.

So It's Overdue? Meh.

On the back of my education discussion, one of the girls in my Care Group had something interesting to say this morning.



She was bemoaning the fact that none of her peers seem to care about assignments or exams or grades. She was explaining that she had come, this year, from another (more expensive) independent school where everybody 'tried' and the standards were high. She has been appalled by the fact that our kids are lazy and apathetic and that she is now easily top of all her subjects because she likes to do well.

"When you say to them...you haven't handed it up? They just say 'Meh'." (visualise that with a shrug)



So it's not just me then.



The thing is, if this is what it's like at a school where parents pay for an education, what must people in state schools have to deal with? Mind you, I shouldn't generalise, I'm sure at some state schools they have a more motivated clientele! How do we turn it around though? What difference can we make? I mean, there is obviously an attitude from home coming through here. It's the whole 'path of least resistence' thing. Parents want an easy life and find it uncomfortable to get their kids to 'do' anything they don't want to.

Well guess what folks? When they handed you that baby and the Flaming Sword that went with it, there was no guarantee that you wouldn't burn your fingers from time to time. That the sword would not be heavy and the child less than delighted by its radiance!

Sometimes good parenting means your kids hate you, they are not happy and they have to work at life! We have currently been putting a bit of that into practice here at Chez Arizaphale where the Baby Angel, at 14, has been falling into the old trap...."my work is not as good as I want it to be so I won't hand it up at all".

Sometimes when kids are given these 'free choice' topics they are overwhelmed. They have grand ideas and then very quickly realise they are not going to get it completed to the level they had imagined and so the wheels fall off. Here's some examples:

Science: Choose an experiment you would like to do. Design the experiment documenting the steps you took to carry it out. Write a report on the results.

Sounds great right? An experiment on ANYTHING you WANT!!!!!!!! Just like they do on TV in those science mystery programs or on forensic shows or...or....
I could do something on what happens to plants that have been exposed to radiation...or something on electronics...I LOVE electronics!!!!!

But what to choose?

As any scientist will tell you, most experiements are pretty boring on the face of it and generally hard slog. Choosing something which can be done within the time frame of say 4-5 weeks is a big ask and it means the type of experiment you can realistically do is pretty mundane. Not what the kids imagine when they first see the task and so they leave it, because they can't think of anything grand or complicated enough....and theyleave it.......and they leave it.......

Here's another one:
English: Write a song and design an album cover to go with it.
(I think this one is supposed to get them to use media skills they have been studying)

Write a song? just like that? Write A SONG?????????

Again, the excitement! The flushed faces, we love music, we listen to it non stop.....we get to WRITE A SONG!!!!!!! Do you know how difficult it is for your average Joe to write a song? The BA has a double edged sword. She is a good writer, a deep thinker and a lover of indie music. The challenge to write something exceptional is very real. Everyone is expecting it. OMG OMG The Pressuure!!!!!!!

And so nothing gets started. Deadlines go whizzing past with a satisfying sound; to paraphrase Douglas Adams. This parents, is where your Flaming Sword must parry and slice:

You will sit down and start this.
Here are three ideas....choose one.
You will not be going into town with your friend until I see this much accomplished.

And they will rail. They will kick and scream and cry and tell you 'you don't understand me'. They will promise faithfully to do it after...later...whenever....

And your life will be Hell. For awhile.

But what you are communicating to them is that it DOES matter; that it does take blood, sweat and tears sometimes; that anything worthwhile is usually not easily gained. It is these lessons that they will take into life with them; into Year11 and 12; into University or their apprenticeship or their first job.

But people! IF you say, 'never mind' or do it for them or believe their adolescent promises of 'later' and don't show them how to prioritise; that is what they will take into school with them and then into life.

Think about the long term not your immediate discomfort. Parenting was not always meant to be fun. Do your kids and society a favour and give them a WORK ETHIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here endeth the lesson

It's Happening In English Classes Too

On the back of my post regarding the evolution of maths teaching, a friend who teaches English reported a conversation which occured in a faculty meeting last week.

Young, enthusiastic Gen X teacher: So, I've been thinking. With Shakespeare, as an assessment piece, we could get them to make an avatar of either Romeo or Juliet.

Second young, enthusiastic Gen X teacher: Yeah! OR we could get them to design a
My Space page as if they were Romeo or Juliet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

********************************************************************************
At dinner as we were discussing this, Himself said "Well, it's a different world..."

Only if we LET it be my dear. ONLY if we let it......................

Parental Instruction: Responding To Cries of Alarm

Just a quick note to parents.

When your irate child TEXTS you from school (during lessons I might add) to complain that their ipod has been confiscated, possibly until the end of term, do NOT immediately phone the school demanding an explanation. Instead reply in text that said child should not be using a phone during lessons, that she can tell you the story at home tonight over dinner and, should you find there to be any inequity, you will contact the school at your convenience the next day.

This may cost you a bit in text charges but reeaally!

The parent in question turned out to be quite reasonable when he phoned the school to find out what the story was. He also agreed that she had been doing the wrong thing and she would have to take the consequences BUT my problem was with his immediate response.

What message are we giving our teenagers when we respond to their ipod angst as if it were a life threatening situation?

What are we reinforcing about the use of phones in class?

Generation Y needs a healthy dose of 'reality check' as far as I am concerned. Life can go on without mp3 players and mobile phones.

"But we'll be raped!" shrieks one of my (more hysterical) Care Group members.

You will be raped anyway kid. Mobile phones do not deter rapists. Should you be confronted by an attacker, your phone is unlikely to get you assistance in enough time to prevent the attack. Nor will it help in a mugging where it is, most likely, the intended loot.

Also parents, if your school has laid down a policy of 'no phones/ipods' in class and after many day/week long confiscations has implemented an 'end of term' confiscation.....suck it up.

And please. Oh please. Do not simply go out and buy your kid another one :-(